The matchmaker was very popular, and many resorted to the services of professional procurers. Matchmakers helped to select the most suitable candidates for marriage in terms of financial status and social status, since this is a profession whose main goal was the successful merger of the capital of future newlyweds. Matchmakers had an honorable place in society; they were always welcome, even in the homes of noble people. In addition, the visit of a matchmaker was considered a kind of luxury - there are many services from procurers. The matchmakers were also the legislators of public opinion; they spread the main rumors throughout the city, always knew everything about everyone, and interpreted events in their own way.
Modern matchmakers
A profession forgotten during Soviet times is now experiencing a rebirth. In the modern world, things haven't changed much. Perhaps the main problem in the search was not the financial aspect, but loneliness. Dating through a matchmaker is reliable, because often, when meeting through advertisements in newspapers, people do not know what kind of meeting they are about to meet, or the person is expecting them. The matchmaker has accurate information in advance, has a photograph of the potential chosen one, coordinates, knows the composition of the family, and can give an objective description.
To work as a matchmaker, you need not only experience, but also great personal desire, dedication and personal qualities. After all, the order of work is to communicate with people sincerely. The most favorable atmosphere for such work is a home atmosphere, when people come to visit, where in a calm atmosphere over tea you can discuss their problems and wishes.
Matchmaking
The matchmaker must find out exactly the intentions of her client and be sure to have a passport for the presence, or rather the absence, of a marriage stamp, because bringing together people who are already tied by marriage is considered unprofessional. Then follows filling out a special questionnaire, where the person must describe his wishes for his partner, his own personal qualities.
Usually the matchmaker keeps notes about his clients, noting all the nuances. After filling out the questionnaire, they begin to view photographs and stories about a particular person of interest. The matchmaker gives her advice and is sometimes quite persistent; such advice should be heeded, because a person of such a profession is picky, and his intuition, most likely, will not let him down.
According to statistics, women more often resort to the help of a matchmaker. The contingent for work is wide, people of different professions and statuses apply for such services, the main thing in the matchmaker’s profession is to make sure in advance of the seriousness of their intentions, and only then provide their help.
The crowning achievement of a matchmaker's work is matchmaking. Traditionally, it is no longer implemented, therefore, matchmaking by a matchmaker means organizing a meeting of partners after preliminary approval of candidates.
Matchmaker is a fairly common word. Many understand intuitively what it means, because it can easily be traced with such definitions as “matchmaker”, “matchmaking” and even “wedding”. But it should be noted that there are several meanings that are interconnected, but have their own characteristics. Let's look at them in detail.
Relative matchmaker
Most often, this word indicates a certain degree of relationship. Who is the matchmaker in the family? The parents of the husband and wife (bride and groom) in relation to each other are called matchmakers. Accordingly, the matchmaker is the mother of the bride for the parents of the groom, as well as the mother of the groom for the parents of the bride. Along with this form, another word with the same root can be used - “matchmaker”.
Matchmaker
In the old days, not only relatives were called this way. A widespread tradition was matchmaking, that is, a solemn invitation to get married, a girl’s proposal of marriage, transmitted through intermediaries. The matchmaker’s words during matchmaking can be compared to chanting the positive qualities of a potential groom, praising him in every possible way. Arriving at the house of the girl’s parents, the matchmakers said the words prescribed by the ritual (for example: “You have goods, we have a merchant”), at first only hinting at the purpose of the visit. Afterwards, the matchmakers move on to specifics: discussing the place and time of the celebration, the lifestyle of the newlyweds after the wedding, the size of the dowry and ransom. Both men and women could act as matchmakers. These were mostly relatives and friends of the groom.
This word is also used to describe those who engage in pimping: he introduces young people, contributes in every possible way to the development of their relationships, in one word - “brings together.” The motivation for this activity is extremely simple; most often, such an unusual “hobby” is taken up by women who are fascinated by the process itself. Some people sincerely try to help people find love, others simultaneously pursue some personal goals, and others count on gratitude.
There are several qualities that a matchmaker has. Acquaintances that seem random, carefully planned meetings - all this requires a certain skill, cunning, prudence and remarkable organizational talent. It is not surprising that a couple of young people who fall into the hands of an experienced matchmaker may not even realize that the events taking place are not at all accidental.
Matchmakers today
For a long time, pimps did their job solely for pleasure, but today this type of activity has also been put on a commercial basis. These days, a matchmaker is not necessarily a bored middle-aged woman. Often this is a real specialist in his field, understanding all the nuances.
The modern world, which is developing with enormous strides and sets a fairly fast pace, simply deprives many young people of the opportunity to take care of their own personal lives. But even dating sites require some time and effort, and there are certain risks. This is where an experienced matchmaker can come to the rescue. Dating, selecting the best candidates, making compatibility forecasts, consultations and all kinds of support - this is not a complete list of services of modern agencies. Anyone can turn to a professional and count on results.
Of course, no most experienced company will give a 100% guarantee. A client who decides to turn to professionals must remember that the human factor cannot be ruled out.
Another unusual meaning
Most dictionaries interpret the word “matchmaker” only from the point of view of determining the degree of kinship and pimping. But there is another meaning that is well known to all lovers of the amazing culture of the East.
In Buddhism and Hinduism, this word has an interjectional character and, as a rule, is pronounced at the end of a mantra, prayer or appeal to some deity. Probably, here we can trace a connection with the ancient Sanskrit word “sva”, meaning heaven in a sacred sense. It is impossible to literally translate this word into Russian, but its approximate meaning is clear: in Buddhism and Hinduism, a matchmaker is an appeal to a deity, an invitation to dialogue, a request to accept a gift (sacrifice), as well as the blessed exclamation that ends the prayer: “Bless!”, “In good!”, “Give me good!”
As you can see, the usual word has another unusual interpretation.
Matchmaker is the one who makes matches. This could be one wedding party or all participants in the matchmaking. In urban life, matchmakers (often professional) are exclusively women. In rural areas there are more men.
People in this profession help busy and lonely people find each other and become happy.
In the old days, matchmakers used the services not only when they wanted to arrange their personal life, but at the same time solve other problems. For example, economic. The matchmaker could find a bride with a substantial dowry. And such brides themselves sometimes begged to find a profitable match from representatives of a noble family for a good profit. Accordingly, a commoner girl could easily become a court lady after marriage.
Matchmaker, “matchmaker” - as is clear from the form of this word, this was a woman, preferably elderly, experienced in everyday life, with a quick tongue. She collected information about the “product” and “merchants” - and shuttled between the houses of possible candidates for brides and grooms.
Matchmakers were women who could arrange the personal lives of young people. The matchmakers were the most knowledgeable and knowledgeable, they knew everyone living in the village and introduced young people, saving some from ruin, arranging a prosperous life for others. The matchmakers were respected and feared, because they could not only advertise to the family, but also spread gossip and rumors.
For some time, two types of matchmaking coexisted - newfangled and traditional. A professional matchmaker looked for a couple, negotiated the marriage, and then “ritual” matchmakers from the groom’s relatives were sent to the bride. It was the “ritual” matchmakers who said all the required words - about the “goods” and the “merchant”, and received “bread and salt” for the groom from the bride’s family - as a sign that the marriage proposal was accepted.
Now the institution of matchmaking and, accordingly, the matchmaker in its classical form has been preserved, perhaps, only in Tatarstan. The Tatar matchmaker, or “bashkoda,” enjoys authority and respect.
The matchmaker must be, first of all, a wise and kind psychologist who helps two lonely hearts find family happiness. This constitutes the success of the matchmaker's work.
A matchmaker who seeks to arrange the personal lives of young people does not just look at everyone, she immediately puts together a psychological portrait and reveals the hidden character traits of each person. This helps her, firstly, to avoid communicating with an indecent and unbalanced person, and secondly, she can immediately combine psychological portraits of people and make a prediction about how suitable they are for each other.
In addition to the fact that the matchmaker gets to know the person who is trying to start a family, she will definitely learn about his family and financial situation. Moreover, most often, for this, matchmakers do not use the data that the applicant himself provides, but find out everything “through their own channels,” often resorting to the services of the valiant police to check whether the applicant has a criminal past.
Today, matchmakers are becoming in demand again.
I could never comprehend this “complex science” - the intricate hierarchy of related titles. All connections that lie deeper or wider than aunts and uncles, nephews and great-grandmothers always crumble into a motley carpet for me. On it, stern mothers-in-law, hospitable but irreconcilable mothers-in-law, brothers-in-law (“whatever they are, they are still relatives”), various daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law, etc. flash as separate bright spots. etc. This entire endless stream goes back to its ancestors and, in general, to the first man. This means, I reassure myself, we are all relatives on Earth, and it’s not so important to know how to properly call your cousin’s wife or your niece’s sweet son.
But my sons got married, and my husband and I acquired new relatives - the parents of their wives. The pattern of the “related” carpet has changed again. I decided to figure it out and finally remember who is who.
I found out that the mother of my daughter-in-law (my son’s wife) is a matchmaker for me, just as I am for her. To be precise: a matchmaker is the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the parents of the other spouse, that is, the mother of a son’s wife or the mother of a daughter’s husband. This should not be confused with the word matchmaker. Matchmaker - the one who matches the groom to the bride, is engaged in matchmaking. Although in Dahl's dictionary both the degree of relationship and occupation are assigned to the matchmaker. And the word matchmaker combines both concepts, only in relation to the fathers of the spouses. After the wedding, you also cannot do without such important characters as father-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law - the father and mother of the husband, the father and mother of the wife, respectively. The question immediately arises, which of them is more important? No one, they are all equal. Forget the numerous jokes about mother-in-law and son-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. How the relationship develops depends only on you, and not on your status. For example, I am a mother-in-law, but this does not prevent me from getting along well with the wives of my two sons.
But we digress. So, matchmaker. The first thing that comes to mind is, of course, “matchmaker Babarikha.” Alexander Sergeevich immortalized this character without at all bothering to give him charm. Indeed, how unattractive was the figure of Babarikha in Pushkin! Or maybe there were reasons for that? Why did the matchmaker try in every possible way to denigrate the young queen in the eyes of her husband, plotting intrigues? It’s strange, because she is someone’s mother: either Tsar Saltan, or his newly-made wife. Apparently, the king, and the son’s chosen one, did not suit the mother. Eternal history. Or she is a mother to two older sisters, and a stepmother to the youngest. Probably, there are relevant studies on this topic, where it becomes clear what role someone has in the fairy tale, what the poet is hinting at, who the weaver sisters and the cook are (are they the “elder” wives of the king). How many times have we read this poetic and dramatic story, including to children, but somehow we haven’t thought about such matters.
Where did the word matchmaker come into our language? It comes from the Proto-Slavic svātъ, turning into matchmaker in Russian, Belarusian and other Slavic languages. But the ancient svātī in Russian became the desired matchmaker, and in Serbo-Croatian - svaħa. Again these names have something in common. If we look deeper, then all words with the root “matchmaker” have one basis - the common Indo-European pronoun sva- / svo-, that is, the Slavic “one’s own”. And indeed, those who become related through marriage are brothers-in-law, and the mother-in-law, think about it, is “her own blood.” That's how!
