Is your child having trouble putting words together?
You could just miss the right moment!
adult secrets
Have you ever raised a toast on New Year's Eve: "For the child to finally learn to read"? And did you make letters out of dough? Did you cut it out for a cheese sandwich? How many sets of alphabet blocks do you have? Like my little sister: all colors and sizes? But the child does not read in any way. He knows all the letters upside down, and sideways, and crookedly. Knows, but does not read! And he is interested in books on the subject of tearing out beautiful pictures along the contour, for which he received the home nickname “Rvach”.
Here is such a miracle (and this is my nephew) sitting silently on the sofa in the corner and, with tension to the droplets of sweat on his nose, looked at the bright magazine that first appeared in the house. Huge, glossy, with an incomprehensible picture on the cover. To touch, clearly, it is impossible - will be punished. And the letters in two rows are shiny black and the words are terribly long - probably secret adults and terribly interesting. However, adults keep their secrets in secret. The magazine will not be given. He is clearly not a child. What is there inside? And the tiny brain strains, trying urgently to unravel at least part of the mystery, the part that is visible.
I walk over to the couch, lean over the magazine. The girl, with an air of indifference, blurts out, like a password, two words that allow her to get the coveted gloss in her hands: “Printing Production”. For me - this is the name, for her - the first words in my life. In addition, lying upside down at a distance of a meter. “Pro-of-vodst-vo-li-gra-fii” - go crazy!
Silent scene. The child, in front of whom four adults danced for half a year (hoping to hear at least “Na-ta-sha” in syllables), began to read. Like a wave of a magic wand: and in a minute, instead of a pumpkin, you have an intelligent child in front of you. The kaleidoscope of dashes and circles has turned into understandable information. The path to reading is open.
Oh-oooh! or Eeeee!
I remembered this "miracle" when my son began to take an interest in letters. This happened at the age of four. As usual, by accident. In love-
In his comics, he was visually surprised by interjections: “Oh-oooooooo! Eeeeeee!" The finger is stuck in the middle of a long "Oh-oooooo!"
What is it, mom?
Something inside me rang. I thought, what if this is it, a magical moment? And as juicy as possible sounded:
The kid is delighted! Followed by: "Eeeee!" I tried again, but with a different intonation. The whole comic was rummaged by the son in search of interesting sounds. So the magic hour itself came to our house, freeing my husband and me from the burden of learning. The main thing is to notice it in time.
What next?
And then you need to fix it. And here women's cunning and adult deceit come to the rescue. After all the interjections were mastered, we moved on to ... curses, in comics, of course. Then - to the "calling". You can rest assured that the success was no less. Only I had to dig through the comic, put barely noticeable points of identification with a pencil, and then, in the presence of my son, mark a new word with a bright marker. One by one. After its development - new. Etc.
Then came the hardest part: finding sentences or phrases that would pique his interest. Of course, everything was found.
By the way, I never stimulated reading large texts. Didn't think it was necessary. Although she bought luxurious books, she did not skimp on thick masterpieces, dotted with venerable artists. And she signed each one: “Murchik from Winnie” or from Peter, Carlson. As a result, the weight of the reading for the first grade was very, very: "Colorful Animals", "Baron Munchausen", "Winnie the Pooh and All-All-All", "Carlson" and "Peter Pen". And you say: "Mom washed the frame." Who needs this frame!
We hope that these examples will serve as great tips for you.
Every parent has encountered a situation where a child starts to do something, but suddenly, without completing it, refuses to continue his plan. Psychologists are sure that there are two reasons for this behavior of children:
The child can finish the job, but does not want to;
The child wants, but something does not work out for him, so he is afraid of difficulties and retreats.
To understand what stops a child, to teach him to bring things to the end and not be afraid of difficulties, it is necessary to act according to a certain algorithm.
1. Understand the reason. Ask your child why he doesn't want to finish what he started. If we are talking about a school assignment, then among the reasons may be a simple misunderstanding of the child about how to complete it. This frightens the child, and he decides to retreat.
In this situation, you can tell the child how best to do it, and if you yourself don’t know, then advise the child to ask the teacher for details and still finish the job, because it’s so interesting and important.
2. What is your child like? In order to better understand the reasons for certain actions of the child, it is necessary to understand what type of personality the child belongs to. For some children, difficulties are a challenge, they simply cannot afford to fail. Such children can look for a way to solve a problem for a long time and still bring the matter to the end. According to psychologists, there are very few such children.
For most children, difficulties are a serious problem, at the sight of which they first of all want to retreat. Such children want to complete the task without difficulty in order to become winners and gain recognition. So that such children do not give up their business halfway, they need to be motivated.
3. It is necessary to choose the right reaction to the actions of the child. If a child encounters difficulties while solving a problem and decides to quit without completing it, at this moment it is important to support the child. You don’t need to force him to continue, just ask what exactly causes difficulties for him, try to help him, but not do it for him, only help.
If your daughter is learning to embroider, but her threads are tangled and broken, teach her how to unravel them, calmly accept failures and continue on, so that later she can look at the result with joy and receive praise for the work done.
Try to explain to the child that difficulties in doing any business are normal, tell the child about the difficulties you encountered while embroidering, so that he knows that you really understand him and wish him well.
4. Don't leave your child face to face with a problem. Some parents, wanting to instill independence in the child, are in no hurry to help the child in solving his problems. They believe that the baby should cope on its own. This approach is not entirely correct, because if your child perceives any difficulties as a challenge, then your refusal to help will be an impetus for him to solve the problem. But if your child is prone to abandoning a task because of difficulty, he definitely needs parental support.
5. Can, but does not want or wants, but does not work? In this matter, the golden mean is important. If you see that a child can, for example, draw a picture beautifully, but at some point he shows his laziness and refuses to do what he has planned, support him, persuade him to continue or return to the task tomorrow.
And if you see that the child has no abilities, no matter how hard he tries, it turns out some kind of “daub”, you should not persuade him, force him to do something that his soul does not lie in. Remember that with pleasure a child will always do only what he likes and what he does best.
Give him the opportunity to choose on his own. Do not be surprised if your child often gets carried away with something, and then quits. This only says that he is in search, and your task is to help him decide. But just do not put pressure on the child!
Good luck with your kids!
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Inspired by yesterday's visit to the neuropsychologist.
Wikipedia tells us that
neuropsychology- an interdisciplinary scientific direction, lying at the intersection of psychology and neuroscience, aimed at understanding the relationship between the structure and functioning of the brain with the mental processes and behavior of living beings.
It's not very clear, of course. Professionals can throw a slipper at me)) I see neuropsychology rather narrowly from the position of my mother: the science of the interaction of the left and right hemispheres.
And experts have a bunch of wonderful exercises that allow you to harmonize this interaction. At first glance, they are very simple. But you never know what you will succeed immediately, and what with difficulty.
So here I am sitting yesterday and watching my youngest son (he will be 5 soon) work with a neuropsychologist. I see that he is trying. I see that not everything works. And certainly not everything is as it should be (as the specialist shows).
What does a female psychologist do? Shows first. Then he does it together. Then he looks and CORRECTS IF SOMETHING IS WRONG.
Matthew does a lot of things wrong. She fixes a lot. He tries. He tries very hard. And when finally everything comes out more or less right, she says: “Well, well. And now, look and do like this, ”gives the next task.
And when it was necessary to crawl backwards on the shoulder blades, moving them one by one and slightly helping himself with his legs, Matvey specifically stalled. Well, he couldn’t manage to move his shoulders alternately back in a circle. He was already seated, and the movements were divided into components, and they moved his hands so that he could feel the movement. No way!
And here I am watching: another attempt, Matvey makes, the girl looks. He starts moving. Her: "No." He tries differently. She again: "No." Well, he really doesn't do that, I see. And I also see how with every “no” it’s not even longing that grows in his eyes - doom.
She didn't scold. This "no" was completely neutral, just a statement of fact. But for Matvey at that moment, the best support was to hear HOW HE DEVELOPED. This would allow him to understand WHERE TO STRIKE NEXT. After all, every time he did it a little more correctly, or at least a little differently, I could also clearly see this from the outside.
In defense of the specialist girl, I want to say that she seems to be new. And she tried very hard too. The trouble is that she tried to do everything RIGHT. The ability to HELP THIS PARTICULAR CHILD THE BEST WAY (even if it means not everything, not everything is correct and not everything is complete) is already the next level. Comes with experience.
My personal and professional experience confirms that criticism is more likely to demotivate. And the right support allows you to move mountains. Yesterday I proved it again.
There was another expert in the class. She hardly interfered. But at some point (between exercises) she came up and said: “You see how well you did.” Matvey was clearly grateful to her for these simple words.
And when he could not deal with his hands, she sat down next to him and suggested: “Let's imagine that you are in a boat. On the oars. Can you row? Well! And the pirates are chasing you. Show me how you row!" And things slowly moved forward.
Active participation, support, focus on achievements - that's what helps us move forward, overcoming difficulties.
And another game. Have you noticed how many trainings in a game format have appeared on the Internet lately? The game helps even adults to overcome resistance, inertia and achieve results. It is definitely like air is necessary for children! And make no mistake, it can help teenagers too. Try with a teenager or for a teenager to BEAT boring - you will see that your efforts will not go unrewarded!
Please tell us how you support your children in what causes them difficulties and / or resistance? And what helps you move forward yourself?
A man and a woman decided to tie the knot, visited the registry office, played a magnificent wedding, spent a honeymoon and began to live a new family life.
With a good and warm relationship in a couple, sooner or later people come to the conclusion that they want to have a baby. Having made such a serious decision, a man and a woman begin to "work" on offspring, only 10% of couples fail to conceive a baby from the first attempts.
And then a question and concern begins to arise in the head of the lovers about why they cannot conceive a child, the husband and wife often quarrel among themselves, the excitement grows, but there is no result. Such couples want to say, stop, don't panic!
If you decided a month ago that you want a child, you began to actively "work" on it, but after 30 days the test did not show two cherished stripes, then you do not need to sound the alarm and become depressed. To be honest, the reason for the experience will arise only a year after you have decided that you are ready to become parents and began to make weekly attempts to conceive a baby.
After 6 months after unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant, it is worth thinking about and possibly changing tactics, for example, the position during intercourse.
In general, let's raise such a difficult and very intimate topic today, how to conceive a child correctly so that everything works out.
Why is the first "pancake" often lumpy?
If you start to understand why couples who want a baby so badly fail to conceive it the first time, then you will have to return to school biology lessons.
When the teacher told the whole class about the human structure and the reproductive system, and we, for the most part, were busy with more interesting thoughts, and such important information was ignored.
Let's try to fill in the gaps. So, for the birth of a little peanut, it is necessary that a meeting of a spermatozoon and an egg cell occurs in the female body. As a result of this “date”, the sperm enters the egg, and only then the embryo begins its development in the uterus. But this, of course, is only in theory, in practice everything is much more complicated.
The fact is that men produce sperm with every orgasm, but a woman produces an egg only once per cycle, to put it roughly, once every 30 days. She “lives” for a couple of days, after which she either fertilizes or dies.
Accordingly, it is far from always possible to conceive a child from the first time, precisely because there was no egg at the time of sexual intercourse, it was not ripe for its function. Therefore, if you want to contribute to the speedy appearance of the baby, have sex as often as possible for a month in order to "catch" the egg.
How to conceive a child if it doesn’t work out: we find out the reasons for failures
Those couples who have not been able to fulfill their dream and conceive a baby for a long time are recommended to undergo a full examination. And this should be done by both men and women. Very often, such couples experience hormonal failure. Having found out this, the doctor will help to solve the problem.
Nervous tension can also negatively affect the onset of pregnancy. For example, if relatives are tormented by questions: “ When to expect grandchildren? Will you have kids soon?”and others, then conception may not occur for a very long time. Our psyche is a very interesting thing, so couples who are under pressure from relatives are advised to go on vacation for a week, perhaps from there you will bring your little happiness.
Of course, it cannot be said that some couples are faced with such a problem as infertility. But here, too, do not despair, the most correct option is to visit a doctor, it is possible that he will be able to offer you some kind of treatment or an alternative way to become parents.
Those lovers who have not been able to conceive a second baby for a long time should also visit a doctor, since there can be many reasons for their failures, only after passing a full examination, it will be possible to shed light on the picture.
What to do if you can’t conceive a child - useful tips
- The doctor's consultation. This has already been mentioned more than once above and this is actually a very important step for couples who cannot achieve their dream in any way;
- Healthy lifestyle. Smoking, drinking alcohol and other bad habits negatively affect the life expectancy of male spermatozoa and the overall health of a woman. In general, if you want kids, give up bad habits;
- Ovulation calculation. Since menstruation in many women is a very fickle thing, it is recommended for those ladies who want to get pregnant to calculate ovulation. Various methods will help to do this correctly, for example, a basal temperature chart, the use of special tests, etc. I would like to say a few words about the basal temperature. It is measured in the rectum for seven days in the middle of the cycle. On the day of ovulation, the indicator will reach 37, and sometimes more degrees. On average, the increase is 0.5 degrees. It is difficult for some ladies to do such manipulations, in such cases a special test that can be bought at a pharmacy helps a lot;
- Power control. A balanced menu is very important for those planning a baby. Women should include green vegetables, seafood, fish and other healthy foods in their diet. Men should prefer mussels, fatty sea fish, oysters, etc. But products that contain sweeteners, preservatives and other harmful additives should be excluded from the menu;
- Refusal of medicines. Of course, those people who suffer from chronic diseases and simply cannot live without medication do not need to stop taking them, but it is worth consulting with a doctor about how such drugs affect conception. Some of the elements that make up the drugs can adversely affect the egg. This needs to be found out;
- Folk recipes. Do not disregard such advice. Healers have several "secret" decoctions that accelerate the onset of pregnancy. Of the most effective, one can name a decoction of inflorescences and leaves of the womb uterus, a course of taking sage, an infusion of rose petals. If you read the forums, it becomes clear that traditional medicine often helps. So, for example, among the girls who used the upland uterus, 40% are satisfied with the therapy and say that the long-awaited pregnancy has come;
- Taking vitamins. There are drugs that are simply necessary for those who are planning a pregnancy. Moreover, the deficiency of these substances often causes problems with conception. The drugs that should be taken include folic acid, vitamin E and tocopherol. But, of course, before taking it, you should consult a doctor.
That's all the advice for today. If something doesn’t work out for you the first time, then don’t stop believing in a miracle and it will definitely come true. Even those couples who have been diagnosed with a serious diagnosis, thanks to the possibilities of modern medicine, can experience unforgettable happiness - to become parents.
