Is your child having trouble putting words together?
You could just miss the right moment!
adult secrets
Have you ever raised a toast on New Year's Eve: "For the child to finally learn to read"? And did you make letters out of dough? Did you cut it out for a cheese sandwich? How many sets of alphabet blocks do you have? Like my little sister: all colors and sizes? But the child does not read in any way. He knows all the letters upside down, and sideways, and crookedly. Knows, but does not read! And he is interested in books on the subject of tearing out beautiful pictures along the contour, for which he received the home nickname “Rvach”.
Here is such a miracle (and this is my nephew) sitting silently on the sofa in the corner and, with tension to the droplets of sweat on his nose, looked at the bright magazine that first appeared in the house. Huge, glossy, with an incomprehensible picture on the cover. To touch, clearly, it is impossible - will be punished. And the letters in two rows are shiny black and the words are terribly long - probably secret adults and terribly interesting. However, adults keep their secrets in secret. The magazine will not be given. He is clearly not a child. What is there inside? And the tiny brain strains, trying urgently to unravel at least part of the mystery, the part that is visible.
I walk over to the couch, lean over the magazine. The girl, with an air of indifference, blurts out, like a password, two words that allow her to get the coveted gloss in her hands: “Printing Production”. For me - this is the name, for her - the first words in my life. In addition, lying upside down at a distance of a meter. “Pro-of-vodst-vo-li-gra-fii” - go crazy!
Silent scene. The child, in front of whom four adults danced for half a year (hoping to hear at least “Na-ta-sha” in syllables), began to read. Like a wave of a magic wand: and in a minute, instead of a pumpkin, you have an intelligent child in front of you. The kaleidoscope of dashes and circles has turned into understandable information. The path to reading is open.
Oh-oooh! or Eeeee!
I remembered this "miracle" when my son began to take an interest in letters. This happened at the age of four. As usual, by accident. In love-
In his comics, he was visually surprised by interjections: “Oh-oooooooo! Eeeeeee!" The finger is stuck in the middle of a long "Oh-oooooo!"
What is it, mom?
Something inside me rang. I thought, what if this is it, a magical moment? And as juicy as possible sounded:
The kid is delighted! Followed by: "Eeeee!" I tried again, but with a different intonation. The whole comic was rummaged by the son in search of interesting sounds. So the magic hour itself came to our house, freeing my husband and me from the burden of learning. The main thing is to notice it in time.
What next?
And then you need to fix it. And here women's cunning and adult deceit come to the rescue. After all the interjections were mastered, we moved on to ... curses, in comics, of course. Then - to the "calling". You can rest assured that the success was no less. Only I had to dig through the comic, put barely noticeable points of identification with a pencil, and then, in the presence of my son, mark a new word with a bright marker. One by one. After its development - new. Etc.
Then came the hardest part: finding sentences or phrases that would pique his interest. Of course, everything was found.
By the way, I never stimulated reading large texts. Didn't think it was necessary. Although she bought luxurious books, she did not skimp on thick masterpieces, dotted with venerable artists. And she signed each one: “Murchik from Winnie” or from Peter, Carlson. As a result, the weight of the reading for the first grade was very, very: "Colorful Animals", "Baron Munchausen", "Winnie the Pooh and All-All-All", "Carlson" and "Peter Pen". And you say: "Mom washed the frame." Who needs this frame!
We hope that these examples will serve as great tips for you.
A man and a woman decided to tie the knot, visited the registry office, played a magnificent wedding, spent a honeymoon and began to live a new family life.
With a good and warm relationship in a couple, sooner or later people come to the conclusion that they want to have a baby. Having made such a serious decision, a man and a woman begin to "work" on offspring, only 10% of couples fail to conceive a baby from the first attempts.
And then a question and concern begins to arise in the head of the lovers about why they cannot conceive a child, the husband and wife often quarrel among themselves, the excitement grows, but there is no result. Such couples want to say, stop, don't panic!
If you decided a month ago that you want a child, you began to actively "work" on it, but after 30 days the test did not show two cherished stripes, then you do not need to sound the alarm and become depressed. To be honest, the reason for the experience will arise only a year after you have decided that you are ready to become parents and began to make weekly attempts to conceive a baby.
After 6 months after unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant, it is worth thinking about and possibly changing tactics, for example, the position during intercourse.
In general, let's raise such a difficult and very intimate topic today, how to conceive a child correctly so that everything works out.
Why is the first "pancake" often lumpy?
If you start to understand why couples who want a baby so badly fail to conceive it the first time, then you will have to return to school biology lessons.
When the teacher told the whole class about the human structure and the reproductive system, and we, for the most part, were busy with more interesting thoughts, and such important information was ignored.
Let's try to fill in the gaps. So, for the birth of a little peanut, it is necessary that a meeting of a spermatozoon and an egg cell occurs in the female body. As a result of this “date”, the sperm enters the egg, and only then the embryo begins its development in the uterus. But this, of course, is only in theory, in practice everything is much more complicated.
The fact is that men produce sperm with every orgasm, but a woman produces an egg only once per cycle, to put it roughly, once every 30 days. She “lives” for a couple of days, after which she either fertilizes or dies.
Accordingly, it is far from always possible to conceive a child from the first time, precisely because there was no egg at the time of sexual intercourse, it was not ripe for its function. Therefore, if you want to contribute to the speedy appearance of the baby, have sex as often as possible for a month in order to "catch" the egg.
How to conceive a child if it doesn’t work out: we find out the reasons for failures
Those couples who have not been able to fulfill their dream and conceive a baby for a long time are recommended to undergo a full examination. And this should be done by both men and women. Very often, such couples experience hormonal failure. Having found out this, the doctor will help to solve the problem.
Nervous tension can also negatively affect the onset of pregnancy. For example, if relatives are tormented by questions: “ When to expect grandchildren? Will you have kids soon?”and others, then conception may not occur for a very long time. Our psyche is a very interesting thing, so couples who are under pressure from relatives are advised to go on vacation for a week, perhaps from there you will bring your little happiness.
Of course, it cannot be said that some couples are faced with such a problem as infertility. But here, too, do not despair, the most correct option is to visit a doctor, it is possible that he will be able to offer you some kind of treatment or an alternative way to become parents.
Those lovers who have not been able to conceive a second baby for a long time should also visit a doctor, since there can be many reasons for their failures, only after passing a full examination, it will be possible to shed light on the picture.
What to do if you can’t conceive a child - useful tips
- The doctor's consultation. This has already been mentioned more than once above and this is actually a very important step for couples who cannot achieve their dream in any way;
- Healthy lifestyle. Smoking, drinking alcohol and other bad habits negatively affect the life expectancy of male spermatozoa and the overall health of a woman. In general, if you want kids, give up bad habits;
- Ovulation calculation. Since menstruation in many women is a very fickle thing, it is recommended for those ladies who want to get pregnant to calculate ovulation. Various methods will help to do this correctly, for example, a basal temperature chart, the use of special tests, etc. I would like to say a few words about the basal temperature. It is measured in the rectum for seven days in the middle of the cycle. On the day of ovulation, the indicator will reach 37, and sometimes more degrees. On average, the increase is 0.5 degrees. It is difficult for some ladies to do such manipulations, in such cases a special test that can be bought at a pharmacy helps a lot;
- Power control. A balanced menu is very important for those planning a baby. Women should include green vegetables, seafood, fish and other healthy foods in their diet. Men should prefer mussels, fatty sea fish, oysters, etc. But products that contain sweeteners, preservatives and other harmful additives should be excluded from the menu;
- Refusal of medicines. Of course, those people who suffer from chronic diseases and simply cannot live without medication do not need to stop taking them, but it is worth consulting with a doctor about how such drugs affect conception. Some of the elements that make up the drugs can adversely affect the egg. This needs to be found out;
- Folk recipes. Do not disregard such advice. Healers have several "secret" decoctions that accelerate the onset of pregnancy. Of the most effective, one can name a decoction of inflorescences and leaves of the womb uterus, a course of taking sage, an infusion of rose petals. If you read the forums, it becomes clear that traditional medicine often helps. So, for example, among the girls who used the upland uterus, 40% are satisfied with the therapy and say that the long-awaited pregnancy has come;
- Taking vitamins. There are drugs that are simply necessary for those who are planning a pregnancy. Moreover, the deficiency of these substances often causes problems with conception. The drugs that should be taken include folic acid, vitamin E and tocopherol. But, of course, before taking it, you should consult a doctor.
That's all the advice for today. If something doesn’t work out for you the first time, then don’t stop believing in a miracle and it will definitely come true. Even those couples who have been diagnosed with a serious diagnosis, thanks to the possibilities of modern medicine, can experience unforgettable happiness - to become parents.
Conception is the starting point of pregnancy. And if a couple has problems with this, suspicions fall on the woman. But now, examinations have shown that everything is in order with her. So it's about the man.
August 5, 2014 · Text: Evgenia Karpovskaya· A photo: Shutterstock
The three pillars of male fertility are the production of male sex cells (spermatogenesis), the transport of spermatozoa, and their ability to penetrate the egg to bring genetic material into it.
Of course, the main contribution of a man to a successful conception is good sperm, because for successful fertilization, at least 10 million spermatozoa must penetrate the uterus! Its quality, in turn, depends on the level of the testosterone hormone in the body.
Please note: Men with high testosterone levels are usually of average height, stocky, with a developed torso and a lot of body hair.
What factors primarily negatively affect conception from the “male side”?
1. Age: after 35 years, testosterone production and the number of spermatozoa in seminal fluid decrease.
2. The weight: extra pounds lead to hormonal imbalance, inhibit the endocrine function of the testicles, reduce the amount of sperm and sperm motility.
3. Smoking: negatively affects the DNA of spermatozoa. In addition, the smoker's seminal fluid is more susceptible to the aggressive influence of the slightly acidic environment of the vagina, which reduces the chances of the sperm to "survive".
4. Alcohol: reduces the level of testosterone in the body and negatively affects the production of healthy sperm by the testicles.
5. Overheat(bath, sauna, synthetic underwear, cotton blankets): spermatozoa are very sensitive to heat, because the process of their formation takes place at a temperature that is 1-2 degrees lower than the temperature of the internal areas of the body.
6. Groin injuries, tight clothing, potentially dangerous sports - cycling, martial arts.
7. Bad ecology and living conditions: polluted air, work with highly toxic substances, increased levels of radioactive radiation.
The deviation of the main indicators of sperm from the norm can also be influenced by: violations in the functioning of the testicles, the prostate gland and a number of small gonads. Examination of a man by a urologist will make it possible to draw conclusions about the possible presence of any diseases or a predisposition to them.
Even a viral disease can suppress the production of healthy sperm for 2-3 months.
Start preparing for conception ahead of time:
To improve sperm maturation, refrain from smoking, taking hot baths, frequent visits to the bath or sauna. Minimize your alcohol intake as much as possible.
Attempts to conceive a child do not work? If everything is in order on the female side, the future father of the family first of all needs to do a spermogram - an analysis that gives an idea of the concentration, quantity and motility of spermatozoa.
If the indicators are normal, it is carried out mar-test. It detects spermatozoa "blocked" for fertilization by antibodies, i.e. coated with antisperm. Another method for identifying the causes of infertility is the binding of spermatozoa with hyaluronic acid (determined "mature" spermatozoa).
Nutrition to improve sperm quality:
Nutrition is not the most important thing, but still an important condition for successful conception. Make sure that the diet of the future father is regularly present:
- Shellfish and egg yolk are rich in vitamin B12, which helps to actively form sperm.
- Dried fruits, sunflower oil, fish oil - regulate the endocrine system.
- Red peppers, broccoli, oranges, strawberries - contain vitamin C, which increases sperm motility.
- Spinach, turnip, almonds - increase the quality of sperm.
- Whole grains, oysters, pine nuts, red meat - contribute to the production of "mobile" sperm, as well as the preservation of the maximum number of "good" sperm.
Some useful facts for men:
British scientists suggest that In the cold season, testosterone production is reduced in men.
Brazilian nutritionists advise coffee lovers not to give up their favorite drink when planning a child: according to their observations, the sperm of men who drink 6 cups of coffee a day are more “mobile”.
Canadian psychologists say that chronic stress significantly slows down the process of sperm formation.
American doctors say that the use of lubricants during intercourse does not significantly affect conception.
This kid doesn't want to study at all! So smart, quick-witted grew up. At the age of 2, he already knew letters and colors. And as he read poetry - everyone on the playground envied. And now, how did they change it ... Why does he have such a dislike for school? Such exclamations of parents are not uncommon. Quite often, psychologists are approached by parents of children who do not want to study, go to school, and do not show interest in learning as such. Mothers and grandmothers (namely, they are often involved in their education) sound the alarm, scold, shame, draw an unseemly future for the “lazy person”, demand, and sometimes it comes to a belt. Then, in powerlessness to do anything, they seek help from a psychologist. Let's try to figure out why children do not want to study, who is to blame for this and what to do.
Possible reasons for not wanting to study
Among the reasons why children do not want to go to school, we can single out the main 5. They should be read by parents who are faced with a similar situation, absolutely impartially, without trying on what was written for themselves. Then, having calmly considered what they read, reflect on how the description resembles the real problems that have arisen in their lives that their children have encountered. In the next section, tips will be given to get out of the described situations.
- Parents took responsibility for their education.
This case is quite common nowadays. Having given birth to a baby, the mother takes care of his every step, every word, every action. When a child begins to study at school, the mother does homework with him (and sometimes practically for him), collects his portfolio, she is always aware of all school affairs. The child himself is completely deprived of the right to vote, and he also loses the need to think and do something on his own. Everything has already been decided by my mother. Sometimes the grandmother acts as a total "guardian".
How does the mother (grandmother) feel about this? Realizing that it is quite difficult to study at school now, she takes upon herself the right to help a “small, unintelligent” child. Also, the following slogan is currently common among mothers: “I will do everything for my child!” Help and attention is very important for the baby, if you do not go too far.
Another similar situation is total control. It differs from the previous one in that the parent does not seek to do his school duties for the child himself, but constantly gives orders that the baby executes. The process of completing the lessons is regulated over the shoulder by a vigilant controller, the children sit down for lessons not when they want, but when they are ordered, the collection of the backpack also takes place under the insistent "advice" of the dictator. But the result with this behavior of the parents is the same: the son or daughter has no responsibility regarding school affairs.
As a result, the child does not want to study. What is the first thing parents do to ensure that schooling (particularly grades) is not affected? In the first case, guardianship is increased, in the second - control. If you continue in the same spirit, you can "break" the will of the child. And for those who still resist, such behavior causes protests: scandals, conflicts, laziness, absenteeism, dislike for school.
- Lazy genius.
If a child has outstanding abilities from childhood, parents predict a bright future for him. Imagine their disappointment when a little genius suddenly declares that he is not interested in school and does not want to learn anything. Such children go to classes under duress, and as a result, academic performance suffers. Moms and dads are bombarded with numerous complaints from teachers, and the class teacher asks to take action. And the parents do not know what to do, do not know how to overcome his laziness.
- Lack of need for new knowledge.
Above was a negative example of overprotection of a child. There is another side of the coin: children who are actually brought up “on the street” may have good natural data regarding mental development, but the lack of parental attention and communication with educated people does not allow such children to develop a cognitive interest. In other words, children do not have the need to learn something new. If, thanks to natural data, they can study well in elementary school, then problems arise in the middle classes - the child does not see the point in learning. And parents often can't do anything about it.
- Conflict situations at school.
Often children do not want to go to school because of difficulties with classmates or teachers. In this situation, the unwillingness to learn is a secondary factor. The child spends his energy and attention on problems, but there is not enough strength for learning.
- "Poor sick man."
Children with various illnesses, which are known to the class teacher and teachers, often feign seizures and ailments. All pity them, make indulgences, treat them condescendingly. At home, you can pretend to be sick and not go to class, and if you get tired of studying, you can go to the hospital. The most important thing: no one will strictly ask for absenteeism, a decent grade is “stretched” out of pity. Then a reasonable question arises in the child: why study hard and go to school, if everything will be so?
What to do?
We looked at some of the reasons why a child does not want to study. Now let's move on to the most interesting. What advice can you give to parents? We will analyze it in the same way, according to situations.
- With excessive guardianship and control on the part of parents, it is worth listening to a psychologist and letting go of the reins. Many parents will ask themselves: why this measure will work? Will the child roll completely into deuces? It is worth immediately warning moms and dads that taking responsibility for yourself is a long process. At first, academic performance will fall, as the child, having escaped from oppression, will begin to do what he was forbidden for a long time. Then he will feel that being a loser is not so pleasant, and he will take the first steps towards improving academic performance. As soon as the child feels the taste of success, he will no longer be able to refuse it. He will finally come to the realization that making mistakes is not so scary, but getting a reward for work is very nice!
- In the case of the lazy genius, the problem is that the gifted child has been praised since childhood for being quick and smart. But this is just a natural given, like hair color or height. He thinks: why should I make an effort, study, in order to get the approval of parents and teachers, if I am naturally gifted and have always admired me just like that? Based on the high potential given at birth, one should learn and acquire knowledge that will be useful in life. This is what needs to be explained to the lazy genius.
Also, according to the psychologist, if a child clearly differs from his classmates in the level of development and is bored in the classroom, it is worth choosing a specialized school for him, where a complicated program will help him feel the “taste of new knowledge”. This will have a positive effect on performance.
- The situation with the lack of need for new knowledge is sad, but quite common. Parents can develop a cognitive interest in a child, but due to the specifics of this situation, this is most often impossible. It will be happiness for the child if the teachers at school instill in him an interest in at least one subject. The one closest to him. Having planted a spark of knowledge in the soul of a child, one can kindle a fire that requires more and more new knowledge. Fortunately, such sensitive and caring teachers are quite common.
- If there are problems at school with classmates or a teacher, parents should delicately explain the situation. When all the nuances are clear, you need to think about ways to resolve the conflict. If you cannot do this on your own, you should seek the help of a psychologist.
- To avoid the occurrence of such a situation, you should carefully communicate with a child with a chronic illness. We must not allow him to begin to manipulate parents, and this applies not only to the problem when children do not want to go to school, but in general behavior in life. But if a problem has arisen, then convincing a child that it is impossible to live at the expense of the sympathy of others is a titanic work that can drag on for a long time. The best thing to do is to take the advice of a professional psychologist.
Underlay straws, or how to prevent an unpleasant situation
Often a child's soul is darkness for parents. The advice of a psychologist will help to understand the possible reasons for the rejection of school and study. But it is always easier to warn than to understand what happened later, to ask the question: “Why?” and think what to do.
Tips for parents of preschoolers will help prevent future reluctance to learn.
- Kindergarten age is the time to teach a child to learn, to work. Oddly enough, you need to get used to the process of systematic learning, it should become a constant companion of the baby (and in the future - an adult) in life.
- Give your child more freedom to express themselves. From the age of 4, he must dress himself for kindergarten, have household chores, remember to do homework (in kindergartens at this age, kids already have math classes).
- Cultivate perseverance in the baby, bring what you started to the end. This applies to crafts, drawings and other similar activities. Only you can not insist and force the child to complete what he started. You can, for example, offer to take a break and return to business later. But be sure to come back to see the result.
- When the baby sees the result of his work, he must certainly be praised. Feeling success, he will strive for approval every time. Thus, it will be deposited in his head: in order to receive praise, you need to work hard.
- Do not force the child with an abundance of activities and circles, do not deprive him of games and childhood. Thus, from preschool age, you can already discourage the desire to learn.
- Do not set high standards for the baby that exceed its capabilities. Failure makes some kids give up. Subsequently, the child will be afraid that as a result of training he will make a mistake and receive a negative reaction from his parents, whose opinion is more important to him than anyone in the world.
What if the child does not want to study? First of all, don't blame him! Adults need to look at the situation, find the cause and think of a solution. If you wish, you can always contact a professional psychologist who will help you figure out what happened and tell you the right way out. Peace and tranquility to your family!
Inspired by yesterday's visit to the neuropsychologist.
Wikipedia tells us that
neuropsychology- an interdisciplinary scientific direction, lying at the intersection of psychology and neuroscience, aimed at understanding the relationship between the structure and functioning of the brain with the mental processes and behavior of living beings.
It's not very clear, of course. Professionals can throw a slipper at me)) I see neuropsychology rather narrowly from the position of my mother: the science of the interaction of the left and right hemispheres.
And experts have a bunch of wonderful exercises that allow you to harmonize this interaction. At first glance, they are very simple. But you never know what you will succeed immediately, and what with difficulty.
So here I am sitting yesterday and watching my youngest son (he will be 5 soon) work with a neuropsychologist. I see that he is trying. I see that not everything works. And certainly not everything is as it should be (as the specialist shows).
What does a female psychologist do? Shows first. Then he does it together. Then he looks and CORRECTS IF SOMETHING IS WRONG.
Matthew does a lot of things wrong. She fixes a lot. He tries. He tries very hard. And when finally everything comes out more or less right, she says: “Well, well. And now, look and do like this, ”gives the next task.
And when it was necessary to crawl backwards on the shoulder blades, moving them one by one and slightly helping himself with his legs, Matvey specifically stalled. Well, he couldn’t manage to move his shoulders alternately back in a circle. He was already seated, and the movements were divided into components, and they moved his hands so that he could feel the movement. No way!
And here I am watching: another attempt, Matvey makes, the girl looks. He starts moving. Her: "No." He tries differently. She again: "No." Well, he really doesn't do that, I see. And I also see how with every “no” it’s not even longing that grows in his eyes - doom.
She didn't scold. This "no" was completely neutral, just a statement of fact. But for Matvey at that moment, the best support was to hear HOW HE DEVELOPED. This would allow him to understand WHERE TO STRIKE NEXT. After all, every time he did it a little more correctly, or at least a little differently, I could also clearly see this from the outside.
In defense of the specialist girl, I want to say that she seems to be new. And she tried very hard too. The trouble is that she tried to do everything RIGHT. The ability to HELP THIS PARTICULAR CHILD THE BEST WAY (even if it means not everything, not everything is correct and not everything is complete) is already the next level. Comes with experience.
My personal and professional experience confirms that criticism is more likely to demotivate. And the right support allows you to move mountains. Yesterday I proved it again.
There was another expert in the class. She hardly interfered. But at some point (between exercises) she came up and said: “You see how well you did.” Matvey was clearly grateful to her for these simple words.
And when he could not deal with his hands, she sat down next to him and suggested: “Let's imagine that you are in a boat. On the oars. Can you row? Well! And the pirates are chasing you. Show me how you row!" And things slowly moved forward.
Active participation, support, focus on achievements - that's what helps us move forward, overcoming difficulties.
And another game. Have you noticed how many trainings in a game format have appeared on the Internet lately? The game helps even adults to overcome resistance, inertia and achieve results. It is definitely like air is necessary for children! And make no mistake, it can help teenagers too. Try with a teenager or for a teenager to BEAT boring - you will see that your efforts will not go unrewarded!
Please tell us how you support your children in what causes them difficulties and / or resistance? And what helps you move forward yourself?
