NLP (or so-called neurolinguistic programming) was developed as the practice of modeling verbal and non-verbal acts of human behavior, aimed exclusively at obtaining certain successes in real life and is a degeneration of the ideas of behaviorism. The bulk of serious psychologists and research scientists in other humanities disciplines have long recognized NLP as an ineffective doctrine.
Most people are not very pleased to communicate even with professional psychologists; usually this is done out of necessity. It is even less pleasant to realize the fact that certain individuals, having read a couple of books of dubious content from a scientific point of view, and/or attended several seminars, will begin to apply some miraculous psychotechniques to us to achieve their own benefit. That is, it’s like if graduates of vocational schools, for some unknown reason, start studying applied psychology in order to get money. Fine? No. There is no talk at all about any moral and ethical side of such actions in books on NLP. The manuals on how agents of this miraculous teaching should act in matters of subtle human affairs look even more monstrous.
Dear reasonable and more or less educated people, NLP and love are things that are not connected or united by any forces, energies or even desires.
NLP and love
If one of the participants in a relationship that can tentatively be called the word “love” begins to think about effective behavior and benefits, as they say, all is lost. If any of these participants wants benefits, you can bury the feeling.
Lovers, come to your senses! To successfully implement such positive feeling like love that is basic driving force this world, any human cultures and civilizations, do not need any scientific approaches or “effective practices”. To normal people for love (in any form) you only need real feelings, a normal attitude towards other people and good upbringing.
Yes, and in general, I would like to remind you once again: the overwhelming majority of representatives of the scientific community around the world recognize NLP as an ineffective practice in principle in any area of human activity. What does this mean?
Ineffectiveness of NLPTechniques, methods and any NLP techniques in love are also ineffective.
Some will argue that NLP practices are effective in sales. First: temporarily effective. Secondly: sales are not . Shame on you?
Others will say that NLP is effective in the so-called pickup. Pickup is not love, but the sum of the methods of competent, pragmatic “picking” (have you watched the movie “The Hitch Method”, is there even a word about NLP there?). It is absolutely wonderful if real feelings arise as a result of using pickup techniques. It’s even better when, as a result of such actions, people arrange their lives. Here you should see the difference, pickup and NLP are again different things. Therefore, let’s not confuse “warm” with “soft”. Many pragmatic techniques in applied psychology are actually quite effective. NLP is mainly effective for authors writing books on NLP and trainers conducting seminars.
IN developed countries The boom in interest and attempts to implement NLP occurred in the 80s of the last century. On post-Soviet space activities for the mass introduction and almost craze of this quasi-pseudo-effective psychological practice actively flourished in the 90s. This is understandable. For people who spent most of their conscious lives under Soviet rule, it was very difficult to adapt to the dramatically changed conditions. So they threw themselves into whatever they wanted: some into totalitarian sects, some into pseudo-teachings like Scientology, some into multi-level marketing, and those who seemed smarter to themselves – into NLP. This is not a very pretty picture. Well, childhood illnesses and developmental crises happen to all people. Let's return to true normal human values and feelings.
Introduction
Nobody dies from lack of sex. They die from lack of love.
Margaret Atwood
Do you want to meet the man of your dreams? Do you need everlasting love? Do you agree that novels should give exclusively joy, radiant eyes and pleasure? Are you ready to do without tears, difficult breakups, jealousy and lack of reciprocity? Do you dream of enchanting sex that doesn’t get boring over the years, but becomes brighter? Then welcome to our club! Club of lucky people in love!
Love is a gift!
Love is a powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.
Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.
Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!
It may be strange for you to read these lines now. Needless to say, we live in cynical times. Most of us no longer believe in true love. Others think that true love lasts a couple of years, and then it is replaced by friendship and mutual respect at best, and indifference or hostility at worst. Still others are afraid that true love will definitely have to be paid for: with tears, quarrels, suffering.
Since you are holding this book in your hands, it means you are ready to find your love! Moreover, you deserve it! And now, and not after ten/twenty/thirty years of hard work on yourself. And I hope that this book will easily help you get closer joyful moment. I wouldn’t be surprised if you finish reading the last chapters, curled up comfortably in the arms of the man of your dreams.
However, the result will depend entirely on you.
And this is the main advantage and main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the only author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic breakup.
So, it's all up to you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.
You may not believe it at first. Especially if your past romances weren't particularly successful. Maybe such an assumption will even outrage you. Well, it turns out that it’s my own fault that my boyfriend cheated on me/was rude/beat me/was married, etc.?! So, did I bring all these love failures upon myself?!
Alas, yes. However, this is by no means your fault! It's just your problem. You acted as best you could, tried your best, and as a result you came to the current situation. But that doesn't mean anything! After all, having received new information, having learned some secrets about how relationships are built, you can get anything you want! Everything!
All you need to do is change your way of thinking slightly and look at the world from a new point of view. Don't believe that everything is so simple? So that's great! Do not believe! Better check! Practice shows that the greatest results are achieved by those who do not take their word for it, but check everything from their own experience.
NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.
Neurolinguistic programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, improvement financial situation, communicating with people, negotiations.
But it is especially important to use this technique in love. After all, when it comes to our personal lives, we usually want to get everything as quickly as possible. We don't want to wait twenty years to meet our prince. And they are not ready to wait until he is sixty years old for him to finally decide to propose.
No, we want to love and be loved now. This is why NLP is ideal for our purposes. This is the fastest and most effective branch of psychology.
How NLP works: examples from life
If you are interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP methods can work.
Veta, 49 years old, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and could not bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the question of going to the gym became even more pressing. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I’m too lazy for sports. I will never have the willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I’ll go to a couple of classes at most, and then I’ll give up anyway. I'll just waste my money on a subscription. To be honest, I’m too lazy to even just go to the club and find out the class schedule. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she didn't believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.
For fun, I suggested she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took at most 15 minutes, Veta was not too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work... we’ll see.” But there was no particular confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to the fitness club and took out a monthly membership. I asked what was the incentive. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.
– I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my friend there. best friend. She worked out in the gym and looked great - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? After all, I need it so much! And if I had gone with her, I would probably look just as wonderful now!
Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months now she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And he is sincerely upset if he has to miss a class.
This is how quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn new program and give the body the right command.
Another positive example another girl demonstrated to me,
Alina, 22 years old.
For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.
“We dated from school,” says Alina, “we loved each other, but could not get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately escalated into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, and even fights. We separated and came back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, and promised to control himself. But after some time we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.”
Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personality development. And so I decided to try NLP techniques.
– When we broke up again, I decided to find new love. I knew from experience that if I stayed alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. But I didn’t want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used a well-formulated NLP outcome model.
The result is an image of your goal, designed to help you understand what to do and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you correctly formulate the goal, then the formulation itself will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.
This is exactly what Alina did. Having formulated what kind of relationship she needed and what kind of man she would like to build it with, the girl immediately understood how to act.
“Having answered the questionnaire with a well-formulated result, I realized what my mistake was,” says Alina, “I wanted Serious relationships, but at the same time I only met with infantile young guys who simply could not give me such a relationship. I suddenly realized that I needed an older man: successful, smart and confident. With whom I will be interested, from whom I can learn a lot. I also realized that I want to find a man without bad habits, in good physical shape, with a beautiful body. And also - so that he takes me seriously and is ready for life together. And then it dawned on me that I definitely shouldn’t look for something like this in nightclubs, as I usually did. I bought myself a subscription to an elite spa center with a sauna, swimming pool, and tennis courts. It was not cheap, but it automatically guaranteed a good circle of friends. We only came here to relax successful people. Already in the first month of visits, I met an attractive man. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't party. And he just divorced his wife. And I started going to the spa to put my body and nerves in order after a serious breakup. We quickly found mutual language and started dating. And I realized that most of the problems in our personal lives come from the fact that we complain too much about shortcomings in relationships, instead of formulating goals in love!
So, in order to achieve a goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific about your goal! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can follow. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form in as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.
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Introduction
Nobody dies from lack of sex. They die from lack of love.
Margaret Atwood
Do you want to meet the man of your dreams? Do you need everlasting love? Do you agree that novels should give exclusively joy, radiant eyes and pleasure? Are you ready to do without tears, difficult breakups, jealousy and lack of reciprocity? Do you dream of enchanting sex that doesn’t get boring over the years, but becomes brighter? Then welcome to our club! Club of lucky people in love!
Love is a gift!
Love is a powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.
Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.
Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!
It may be strange for you to read these lines now. Needless to say, we live in cynical times. Most of us no longer believe in true love. Others think that true love lasts a couple of years, and then it is replaced by friendship and mutual respect at best, and indifference or hostility at worst. Still others are afraid that true love will definitely have to be paid for: with tears, quarrels, suffering.
Since you are holding this book in your hands, it means you are ready to find your love! Moreover, you deserve it! And now, and not after ten/twenty/thirty years of hard work on yourself. And I hope that this book will easily help you bring the joyful moment closer. I wouldn’t be surprised if you finish reading the last chapters, curled up comfortably in the arms of the man of your dreams.
However, the result will depend entirely on you.
And this is the main advantage and main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the only author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic breakup.
So, it's all up to you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.
You may not believe it at first. Especially if your past romances weren't particularly successful. Maybe such an assumption will even outrage you. Well, it turns out that it’s my own fault that my boyfriend cheated on me/was rude/beat me/was married, etc.?! So, did I bring all these love failures upon myself?!
Alas, yes. However, this is by no means your fault! It's just your problem. You acted as best you could, tried your best, and as a result you came to the current situation. But that doesn't mean anything! After all, having received new information, having learned some secrets about how relationships are built, you can get anything you want! Everything!
All you need to do is change your way of thinking slightly and look at the world from a new point of view. Don't believe that everything is so simple? So that's great! Do not believe! Better check! Practice shows that the greatest results are achieved by those who do not take their word for it, but check everything from their own experience.
NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.
Neurolinguistic programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, improving your financial situation, communicating with people, negotiations.
But it is especially important to use this technique in love. After all, when it comes to our personal lives, we usually want to get everything as quickly as possible. We don't want to wait twenty years to meet our prince. And they are not ready to wait until he is sixty years old for him to finally decide to propose.
No, we want to love and be loved now. This is why NLP is ideal for our purposes. This is the fastest and most effective branch of psychology.
How NLP works: examples from life
If you are interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP methods can work.
Veta, 49 years old, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and could not bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the question of going to the gym became even more pressing. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I’m too lazy for sports. I will never have the willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I’ll go to a couple of classes at most, and then I’ll give up anyway. I'll just waste my money on a subscription. To be honest, I’m too lazy to even just go to the club and find out the class schedule. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she didn't believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.
For fun, I suggested she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took at most 15 minutes, Veta was not too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work... we’ll see.” But there was no particular confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to the fitness club and took out a monthly membership. I asked what was the incentive. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.
– I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my best friend there. She worked out in the gym and looked great - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? After all, I need it so much! And if I had gone with her, I would probably look just as wonderful now!
Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months now she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And he is sincerely upset if he has to miss a class.
This is how quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn a new program and give the body the right command.
Another positive example was shown to me by another girl,
Alina, 22 years old.
For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.
“We dated from school,” says Alina, “we loved each other, but could not get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately escalated into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, and even fights. We separated and came back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, and promised to control himself. But after some time we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.”
Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personality development. And so I decided to try NLP techniques.
– When we broke up again, I decided to find new love. I knew from experience that if I stayed alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. But I didn’t want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used a well-formulated NLP outcome model.
The result is an image of your goal, designed to help you understand what to do and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you correctly formulate the goal, then the formulation itself will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.
This is exactly what Alina did. Having formulated what kind of relationship she needed and what kind of man she would like to build it with, the girl immediately understood how to act.
“Having answered the questionnaire with a well-formulated result, I realized what my mistake was,” says Alina. “I wanted a serious relationship, but at the same time I only dated infantile young guys who simply could not give me such a relationship. I suddenly realized that I needed an older man: successful, smart and confident. With whom I will be interested, from whom I can learn a lot. I also realized that I wanted to find a man without bad habits, in good physical shape, with a beautiful body. And also - so that he takes me seriously and is ready for life together. And then it dawned on me that I definitely shouldn’t look for something like this in nightclubs, as I usually did. I bought myself a subscription to an elite spa center with a sauna, swimming pool, and tennis courts. It was not cheap, but it automatically guaranteed a good circle of friends. Only successful people came here to relax. Already in the first month of visits, I met an attractive man. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't party. And he just divorced his wife. And I started going to the spa to put my body and nerves in order after a serious breakup. We quickly found a common language and started dating. And I realized that most of the problems in our personal lives come from the fact that we complain too much about shortcomings in relationships, instead of formulating goals in love!
So, in order to achieve a goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific about your goal! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can follow. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form in as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.
Model of a well-formulated result
1. What exactly do you want?
Answer this question in one sentence. Formulate your wish using the formula
I + predicate in the present tense without the particle “not” + additional conditions.
For example: I easily meet the man of my dreams, and we begin a happy, harmonious relationship.
I easily marry a man who loves me and loves me.
Try to keep the goal as specific and clear as possible. Without tricks and ambiguities. After all, if you make a wish: “I am meeting a handsome and rich man,” then the goal will most likely be fulfilled literally. You will meet this rich handsome guy somewhere on the street, but he will just pass by. And if you think, “I fall in love easily,” then you may not fall in love with each other. So try to fit all your wishes into one sentence. By the way, listing here all the qualities of the future chosen one is not a very effective way. The more minor details the object of your fantasy has, the more demands you make, the longer it will take to implement your order. So try to be more concise and specific, stating only what is necessary. The most succinct formulation: “a man who is beloved and loves me.” Instead of ordering a handsome guy with blue eyes, blond hair, biceps, height of 185 cm and always wearing D&G jeans, it’s better to just order a “sexy attractive man”.
2. What will having this result give you?
Answer this question and you will find out your motivation! Why are you really looking for love?
3. Do you imagine yourself as the owner of this result?
To make your goal achievable, draw a very vivid picture in your imagination. desired result. Imagine yourself in love and loved! Or a happy bride. Or a cheerful wife!
By the way, NLP trainers recommend imagining yourself dissociated, that is, as if looking at yourself from the outside. If you look at the picture " happy love”with your own eyes, like a participant in the picture, then your brain will receive a signal that you have already achieved the result and will transmit the corresponding command to your body. And if you imagine a picture of “happy love” and see yourself from the outside, then your consciousness will receive a signal: this is my goal, this is what I am striving for, this is the direction in which I am moving.
4. How will you know that you have achieved the result?
– What will you see when you achieve the result?
– What will you hear when you achieve the result?
– How will you feel when you achieve the result?
We perceive the world around us in pictures, sounds, sensations. We can feel our purpose in the same way.
If you have formed a visual image of the desired result in your imagination, it will, of course, trigger the necessary mechanism for materializing the desire. But this process will accelerate many times over if we supplement the picture of “happy love” with appropriate auditory and kinesthetic images (that is, sounds and sensations).
So it is necessary to construct the most vivid images in your imagination, preferably in 3D format, and even with Dolby Digital Surround sound! They will begin to influence the subconscious, and the subconscious, in turn, will give a command to the body. And when the body feels the anticipation of happiness, you, firstly, will become prettier before our eyes (after all, the brain will program the body so that it looks better). Well, secondly, it will begin to move and function in such a way that your order for happy love will be realized. You yourself will feel where you need to go, how to behave, what to say and do in order to easily get what you want. Your behavior will be automatically programmed to get the desired result!
5. Who controls your results?
(Check if your goal is connected with other people? Does its implementation depend on someone other than you?)
Alas, even the most experienced NLPer is unable to completely control other people. Of course, in NLP there are some techniques for indirectly influencing a person. However, setting a goal: “Let Vasya leave his wife and love me” or “I want Tom Cruise to fall in love with me” is not very effective. If you are not mutually in love right now, think about what you need more: the love of a specific person or just a happy one mutual love? Because you can choose an easier path: fall in love with a man who will reciprocate your feelings (and who, quite possibly, will be a hundred times more beautiful, sexier, smarter, more successful than the notorious Vasya). In NLP it is always preferable to depend only on yourself. And if you order the love and good attitude of another person, then you obviously put yourself in a dependent position. In the following chapters we will talk about how to influence people and how to make any man fall in love with you. But for now you should carefully weigh everything and ask yourself: is the game worth the candle?
Besides, you cannot directly change another person. No matter how many times you repeat: “My husband appreciates me and stops cheating on me,” the spell is unlikely to work. After all, it is your subconscious, not his, that you are programming. So formulate the order differently: “I am the most attractive to my husband. I easily achieve his loyalty."
6. In what situations will achieving a result be inappropriate or useless?
Can you imagine circumstances that would discourage you from finding happy love/getting married, etc.?
7. Where and when would you like to receive your result? Are you ready to have this result all the time and under any circumstances?
What seems tempting to us in one situation may seem like absolute hell in another. We need to formulate the result in such a way that it is attractive to us in any context.
8. What can you lose if you achieve your goal? What are you risking?
Sometimes we ourselves block the fulfillment of desires because we are afraid of losing something important. A woman may want to get married and at the same time subconsciously be afraid of losing her freedom. You can dream of love and at the same time keep your feelings in check, afraid that if a man turns your head, he will break your heart.
In each of us, a battle between reason and feelings, consciousness and subconsciousness can go on for years. To end this confrontation and eliminate the contradiction, you must first understand it. So, realize that now you are benefiting from the fact that your goal has not yet been realized. Finally, understand what exactly this benefit is. Are you ready to give it up in the future in order to achieve your goal?
9. What do you already have to achieve the desired result and what else do you need?
By answering this question, you will learn a lot about yourself. For example, that you already have a lot useful resources that will help you find happy love. For example, appearance, age, life experience, beautiful smile, easy disposition and easy-going character. Remember all your qualities and think about how they can help you achieve your goal. You will be surprised: anything can become your weapon! You know foreign language? Great! This means that you have more choice of men, because you can have an affair not only with compatriots, but also with foreigners. Are you under 18 years old? Well, that’s wonderful! You have seen a lot and know a lot. Your wisdom will work for you. Divorced? Wonderful! So, some kind of experience family life you have, and it will help you avoid many mistakes in a new relationship. Do you have ten children? That's wonderful! This means you can immediately check your boyfriend. Agree that a man’s attitude towards children says a lot about him as a person. You'll immediately know he's behind the scenes.
10. Have you managed to achieve something like this before?
If you have been happy in love for at least a day, then you are, in principle, capable of this! It’s a well-known fact: if you’ve been able to do something at least once, then you can definitely repeat it! And even improve the result!
11. Do you know anyone who managed to achieve the result you dream of?
If your friends succeeded, then you can do it even more! Try to look for and find among your friends and family examples of happy relationships, successful marriages, and true love. If they did it, then you can too! Let go of envy. Gain confidence. This is a very realistic goal. Someone has already achieved it. And you are already on the way to it. Great! Soon you too will join the ranks of the lucky ones.
So, now you know how to correctly formulate a goal. You see that proper formulation allows you to learn a lot about yourself. For example, why haven’t you achieved what you want yet? And what obstacles do you need to remove along the way? And one more thing: HOW to act, WHAT to do in order to get what you want as quickly as possible?
The main thing is to remember: NLP is not a theory, it is a purely practical, applied science. Therefore, I hope that you will not be satisfied with the examples given and will want to experience everything yourself! Start practicing right now. This will be the best proof of the effectiveness of NLP.
Practical task No. 1.
Let's take a break and dream...
Think carefully and answer:
– What kind of men did your parents always recommend to you? What kind of relationship did they recommend for you? What ideas about love, sex, marriage were instilled in you from childhood? Which suitors were approved and which were not? What was the advice?
– What novels are listed in your company? What kind of men do your friends dream about? What kind of relationship are they looking for? What do they advise about your personal life?
– What films, books, television series and programs about love are you used to watching? Who are your idols? Which heroes do you consider the most beautiful, exemplary couple? Romeo and Juliet? Evgeny Onegin and Tatyana Larina? Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big? Scarlett and Rhett Butler? What was the end of their relationship? Happy end? Or a tragic ending?
Try writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper or sketching them! This will help you create and clearly see a holistic image of your worldview.
And now that you have made a rough picture of your surroundings, try to distract yourself from it! Think about what YOU would like your personal life to be? What do you dream about? If you are single, what kind of man would you like to meet? If you are in a couple, what would you like to change? What is your idea of an ideal romance? Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Throw away other people's standards. Think about what you would like!!! Not your parents, boyfriend, neighbors, etc.
For clarity, you can not only make a list of your needs, but also sketch them. Or make a collage of photographs, pictures and clippings.
The fact is that many girls themselves do not realize what they want in love. And often replaced own desires strangers. For example, your parents want you to get married. And so you begin to convince yourself that you want to start a family. But in fact, deep down in your heart, you would gladly go to hot countries and have a whirlwind, passionate, albeit unpromising romance with a sultry Latino.
Or vice versa: your friends say that there is no need to fall in love, it’s better to be content with sex without obligations. And so you imitate their way of life, although you yourself, perhaps, would prefer to find that one, the One, instead of a crowd of disposable lovers.
So, this is your chance to dot the i's.
– How do you imagine your ideal personal life?
– What kind of relationship are you looking for? What emotions do you need? What sensations do you want to get?
Books in the series “Psychology. M&F"
“Act like a woman, think like a man. Why men love but don’t marry, and other secrets of the stronger sex"
Only a man can decipher the behavior of other men and tell him how to act correctly in various situations. Millions of women around the world have trusted Steve Harvey in this matter. Funny and honest, this book reveals what men really think about relationships with women.
"Rules. How to marry the man of your dreams"
Tired of hopeless relationships? For those who know the “Rules”, this problem does not exist. Following them, Kate Middleton married a real prince, Beyoncé found the man of her dreams, and Blake Lively won the heart of more than one Hollywood bachelor. “Rules”, tested by time and millions of women, will lead you to your desired goal: they will help you marry the man of your dreams and keep your love forever.
“More than just beautiful. 12 Secret Powers of a Woman You Can't Resist"
Do you want to beat men on their own field? Make them dream about you? Never let them disappoint you again? To get everything you want in a relationship, you just need to learn to manage the forces that you already have. Kara King talks about 12 powerful powers that absolutely every woman has.
“Rules of a smart wife. You're either right or you're married."
Many women manage to catch a man, but how many of them are happily married? In this book you will find 40 rules necessary to maintain harmony and understanding in marriage. You will get answers to all your questions, learn how to successfully overcome any conflicts, find a compromise in any dispute and simply be a happy couple.
Introduction
Nobody dies from lack of sex. They die from lack of love.
Margaret Atwood
Do you want to meet the man of your dreams? Do you need everlasting love? Do you agree that novels should give exclusively joy, radiant eyes and pleasure? Are you ready to do without tears, difficult breakups, jealousy and lack of reciprocity? Do you dream of enchanting sex that doesn’t get boring over the years, but becomes brighter? Then welcome to our club! Club of lucky people in love!
Love is a gift!
Love is a powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.
Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.
Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!
It may be strange for you to read these lines now. Needless to say, we live in cynical times. Most of us no longer believe in true love. Others think that true love lasts a couple of years, and then it is replaced by friendship and mutual respect at best, and indifference or hostility at worst. Still others are afraid that true love will definitely have to be paid for: with tears, quarrels, suffering.
Since you are holding this book in your hands, it means you are ready to find your love! Moreover, you deserve it! And now, and not after ten/twenty/thirty years of hard work on yourself. And I hope that this book will easily help you bring the joyful moment closer. I wouldn’t be surprised if you finish reading the last chapters, curled up comfortably in the arms of the man of your dreams.
However, the result will depend entirely on you.
And this is the main advantage and main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the only author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic breakup.
So, it's all up to you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.
You may not believe it at first. Especially if your past romances weren't particularly successful. Maybe such an assumption will even outrage you. Well, it turns out that it’s my own fault that my boyfriend cheated on me/was rude/beat me/was married, etc.?! So, did I bring all these love failures upon myself?!
Alas, yes. However, this is by no means your fault! It's just your problem. You acted as best you could, tried your best, and as a result you came to the current situation. But that doesn't mean anything! After all, having received new information, having learned some secrets about how relationships are built, you can get anything you want! Everything!
All you need to do is change your way of thinking slightly and look at the world from a new point of view. Don't believe that everything is so simple? So that's great! Do not believe! Better check! Practice shows that the greatest results are achieved by those who do not take their word for it, but check everything from their own experience.
NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.
Neurolinguistic programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, improving your financial situation, communicating with people, negotiations.
But it is especially important to use this technique in love. After all, when it comes to our personal lives, we usually want to get everything as quickly as possible. We don't want to wait twenty years to meet our prince. And they are not ready to wait until he is sixty years old for him to finally decide to propose.
No, we want to love and be loved now. This is why NLP is ideal for our purposes. This is the fastest and most effective branch of psychology.
How NLP works: examples from life
If you are interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP methods can work.
Veta, 49 years old, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and could not bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the question of going to the gym became even more pressing. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I’m too lazy for sports. I will never have the willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I’ll go to a couple of classes at most, and then I’ll give up anyway. I'll just waste my money on a subscription. To be honest, I’m too lazy to even just go to the club and find out the class schedule. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she didn't believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.
For fun, I suggested she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took at most 15 minutes, Veta was not too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work... we’ll see.” But there was no particular confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to the fitness club and took out a monthly membership. I asked what was the incentive. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.
– I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my best friend there. She worked out in the gym and looked great - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? After all, I need it so much! And if I had gone with her, I would probably look just as wonderful now!
Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months now she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And he is sincerely upset if he has to miss a class.
This is how quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn a new program and give the body the right command.
Another positive example was shown to me by another girl,
Alina, 22 years old.
For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.
“We dated from school,” says Alina, “we loved each other, but could not get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately escalated into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, and even fights. We separated and came back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, and promised to control himself. But after some time we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.”
Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personality development. And so I decided to try NLP techniques.
– When we broke up again, I decided to find new love. I knew from experience that if I stayed alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. But I didn’t want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used a well-formulated NLP outcome model.
The result is an image of your goal, designed to help you understand what to do and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you correctly formulate the goal, then the formulation itself will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.
This is exactly what Alina did. Having formulated what kind of relationship she needed and what kind of man she would like to build it with, the girl immediately understood how to act.
“Having answered the questionnaire with a well-formulated result, I realized what my mistake was,” says Alina. “I wanted a serious relationship, but at the same time I only dated infantile young guys who simply could not give me such a relationship. I suddenly realized that I needed an older man: successful, smart and confident. With whom I will be interested, from whom I can learn a lot. I also realized that I wanted to find a man without bad habits, in good physical shape, with a beautiful body. And also - so that he takes me seriously and is ready for life together. And then it dawned on me that I definitely shouldn’t look for something like this in nightclubs, as I usually did. I bought myself a subscription to an elite spa center with a sauna, swimming pool, and tennis courts. It was not cheap, but it automatically guaranteed a good circle of friends. Only successful people came here to relax. Already in the first month of visits, I met an attractive man. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't party. And he just divorced his wife. And I started going to the spa to put my body and nerves in order after a serious breakup. We quickly found a common language and started dating. And I realized that most of the problems in our personal lives come from the fact that we complain too much about shortcomings in relationships, instead of formulating goals in love!
So, in order to achieve a goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific about your goal! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can follow. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form in as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.
Model of a well-formulated result
1. What exactly do you want?
Answer this question in one sentence. Formulate your wish using the formula
I + predicate in the present tense without the particle “not” + additional conditions.
For example: I easily meet the man of my dreams, and we begin a happy, harmonious relationship.
I easily marry a man who loves me and loves me.
Try to keep the goal as specific and clear as possible. Without tricks and ambiguities. After all, if you make a wish: “I am meeting a handsome and rich man,” then the goal will most likely be fulfilled literally. You will meet this rich handsome guy somewhere on the street, but he will just pass by. And if you think, “I fall in love easily,” then you may not fall in love with each other. So try to fit all your wishes into one sentence. By the way, listing here all the qualities of the future chosen one is not a very effective way. The more minor details the object of your fantasy has, the more demands you make, the longer it will take to implement your order. So try to be more concise and specific, stating only what is necessary. The most succinct formulation: “a man who is beloved and loves me.” Instead of ordering a handsome guy with blue eyes, blond hair, biceps, a height of 185 cm and always wearing D&G jeans, it is better to simply order a “sexy attractive man.”
2. What will having this result give you?
Answer this question and you will find out your motivation! Why are you really looking for love?
3. Do you imagine yourself as the owner of this result?
To make your goal achievable, draw in your imagination a very vivid picture of the desired result. Imagine yourself in love and loved! Or a happy bride. Or a cheerful wife!
By the way, NLP trainers recommend imagining yourself dissociated, that is, as if looking at yourself from the outside. If you look at the picture of “happy love” with your own eyes, as if you were a participant in the picture, then your brain will receive a signal that you have already achieved the result and will transmit the corresponding command to your body. And if you imagine a picture of “happy love” and see yourself from the outside, then your consciousness will receive a signal: this is my goal, this is what I am striving for, this is the direction in which I am moving.
4. How will you know that you have achieved the result?
– What will you see when you achieve the result?
– What will you hear when you achieve the result?
– How will you feel when you achieve the result?
We perceive the world around us in pictures, sounds, sensations. We can feel our purpose in the same way.
If you have formed a visual image of the desired result in your imagination, it will, of course, trigger the necessary mechanism for materializing the desire. But this process will accelerate many times over if we supplement the picture of “happy love” with appropriate auditory and kinesthetic images (that is, sounds and sensations).
So it is necessary to construct the most vivid images in your imagination, preferably in 3D format, and even with Dolby Digital Surround sound! They will begin to influence the subconscious, and the subconscious, in turn, will give a command to the body. And when the body feels the anticipation of happiness, you, firstly, will become prettier before our eyes (after all, the brain will program the body so that it looks better). Well, secondly, it will begin to move and function in such a way that your order for happy love will be realized. You yourself will feel where you need to go, how to behave, what to say and do in order to easily get what you want. Your behavior will be automatically programmed to get the desired result!
5. Who controls your results?
(Check if your goal is connected with other people? Does its implementation depend on someone other than you?)
Alas, even the most experienced NLPer is unable to completely control other people. Of course, in NLP there are some techniques for indirectly influencing a person. However, setting a goal: “Let Vasya leave his wife and love me” or “I want Tom Cruise to fall in love with me” is not very effective. If you are not mutually in love right now, think about what you need more: the love of a specific person or just happy mutual love? Because you can choose an easier path: fall in love with a man who will reciprocate your feelings (and who, quite possibly, will be a hundred times more beautiful, sexier, smarter, more successful than the notorious Vasya). In NLP it is always preferable to depend only on yourself. And if you order the love and good attitude of another person, then you obviously put yourself in a dependent position. In the following chapters we will talk about how to influence people and how to make any man fall in love with you. But for now you should carefully weigh everything and ask yourself: is the game worth the candle?
Besides, you cannot directly change another person. No matter how many times you repeat: “My husband appreciates me and stops cheating on me,” the spell is unlikely to work. After all, it is your subconscious, not his, that you are programming. So formulate the order differently: “I am the most attractive to my husband. I easily achieve his loyalty."
6. In what situations will achieving a result be inappropriate or useless?
Can you imagine circumstances that would discourage you from finding happy love/getting married, etc.?
7. Where and when would you like to receive your result? Are you ready to have this result all the time and under any circumstances?
What seems tempting to us in one situation may seem like absolute hell in another. We need to formulate the result in such a way that it is attractive to us in any context.
8. What can you lose if you achieve your goal? What are you risking?
Sometimes we ourselves block the fulfillment of desires because we are afraid of losing something important. A woman may want to get married and at the same time subconsciously be afraid of losing her freedom. You can dream of love and at the same time keep your feelings in check, afraid that if a man turns your head, he will break your heart.
In each of us, a battle between reason and feelings, consciousness and subconsciousness can go on for years. To end this confrontation and eliminate the contradiction, you must first understand it. So, realize that now you are benefiting from the fact that your goal has not yet been realized. Finally, understand what exactly this benefit is. Are you ready to give it up in the future in order to achieve your goal?
9. What do you already have to achieve the desired result and what else do you need?
By answering this question, you will learn a lot about yourself. For example, that you already have a lot of useful resources that will help you find happy love. For example, appearance, age, life experience, beautiful smile, easy disposition and easy-going character. Remember all your qualities and think about how they can help you achieve your goal. You will be surprised: anything can become your weapon! Do you know a foreign language? Great! This means that you have more choice of men, because you can have an affair not only with compatriots, but also with foreigners. Are you under 18 years old? Well, that’s wonderful! You have seen a lot and know a lot. Your wisdom will work for you. Divorced? Wonderful! This means that you have some experience of family life, and it will help you avoid many mistakes in a new relationship. Do you have ten children? That's wonderful! This means you can immediately check your boyfriend. Agree that a man’s attitude towards children says a lot about him as a person. You'll immediately know he's behind the scenes.
10. Have you managed to achieve something like this before?
If you have been happy in love for at least a day, then you are, in principle, capable of this! It’s a well-known fact: if you’ve been able to do something at least once, then you can definitely repeat it! And even improve the result!
11. Do you know anyone who managed to achieve the result you dream of?
If your friends succeeded, then you can do it even more! Try to look for and find among your friends and family examples of happy relationships, successful marriages, and true love. If they did it, then you can too! Let go of envy. Gain confidence. This is a very realistic goal. Someone has already achieved it. And you are already on the way to it. Great! Soon you too will join the ranks of the lucky ones.
So, now you know how to correctly formulate a goal. You see that proper formulation allows you to learn a lot about yourself. For example, why haven’t you achieved what you want yet? And what obstacles do you need to remove along the way? And one more thing: HOW to act, WHAT to do in order to get what you want as quickly as possible?
The main thing is to remember: NLP is not a theory, it is a purely practical, applied science. Therefore, I hope that you will not be satisfied with the examples given and will want to experience everything yourself! Start practicing right now. This will be the best proof of the effectiveness of NLP.
Practical task No. 1.
Let's take a break and dream...
Think carefully and answer:
– What kind of men did your parents always recommend to you? What kind of relationship did they recommend for you? What ideas about love, sex, marriage were instilled in you from childhood? Which suitors were approved and which were not? What was the advice?
– What novels are listed in your company? What kind of men do your friends dream about? What kind of relationship are they looking for? What do they advise about your personal life?
– What films, books, television series and programs about love are you used to watching? Who are your idols? Which heroes do you consider the most beautiful, exemplary couple? Romeo and Juliet? Evgeny Onegin and Tatyana Larina? Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big? Scarlett and Rhett Butler? What was the end of their relationship? Happy end? Or a tragic ending?
Try writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper or sketching them! This will help you create and clearly see a holistic image of your worldview.
And now that you have made a rough picture of your surroundings, try to distract yourself from it! Think about what YOU would like your personal life to be? What do you dream about? If you are single, what kind of man would you like to meet? If you are in a couple, what would you like to change? What is your idea of an ideal romance? Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Throw away other people's standards. Think about what you would like!!! Not your parents, boyfriend, neighbors, etc.
For clarity, you can not only make a list of your needs, but also sketch them. Or make a collage of photographs, pictures and clippings.
The fact is that many girls themselves do not realize what they want in love. And they often replace their own desires with those of others. For example, your parents want you to get married. And so you begin to convince yourself that you want to start a family. But in fact, deep down in your heart, you would gladly go to hot countries and have a whirlwind, passionate, albeit unpromising romance with a sultry Latino.
Or vice versa: your friends say that there is no need to fall in love, it’s better to be content with sex without obligations. And so you imitate their way of life, although you yourself, perhaps, would prefer to find that one, the One, instead of a crowd of disposable lovers.
So, this is your chance to dot the i's.
– How do you imagine your ideal personal life?
– What kind of relationship are you looking for? What emotions do you need? What sensations do you want to get?
NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone Eva Berger
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Title: NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone
Author: Eva Berger
Year: 2011
Genre: Self-improvement, Home and Family: other, Family psychology, Foreign psychology
About the book “NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone" Eva Berger
It's no secret that the reason for both our defeats and our victories is hidden, first of all, in ourselves. Each of us remembers the motto: if you want to be happy, be happy, but few people have seriously thought about putting it into practice. Eva Berger in her book “NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone” tries to convey to the reader the idea that everything depends on him. Our successes and failures are only a consequence of our correct or incorrect behavior.
Are you unhappy and lonely, have you long ago lost faith that you can meet your loved one, start a family, raise children and enjoy life? Throw away negative emotions - try the neurolinguistic programming techniques outlined by the author. Using the techniques recommended in “NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone” you can put an end to loneliness. If you already have a family, but the relationship has gone wrong and has lost its former romance - in the bestseller you will find tips and practical recommendations on how to breathe new life into an old relationship.
Human psychology is such that we program ourselves for failure. As a result, life passes us by. And sometimes this is also facilitated by certain “well-wishers” who also try to instill in us negative programs. Neuro-linguistic programming can also help with this.
However, the bestseller will help not only improve shaky relationships, but also end them if necessary. It often happens that the relationship has reached a dead end for a long time, the couple does not see the point in preserving it. However, by inertia we continue to live in the past, no longer hoping for something better. We are afraid to start a new life. Dead end? Not at all. You just need to work on yourself, change yourself. Eva Berger's bestselling NLP advice and programs will undoubtedly also be useful for you in this regard.
Program your life, make it brighter, freer and happier with the help of neurolinguistic programs outlined in Eva Berger’s book “NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.”
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Quotes from the book “NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone" Eva Berger
Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.
Love and sex are pleasure, joy and just a very pleasant pastime.
No one can teach a person anything, you can only help him find it within himself
So, in order to achieve a goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific about your goal! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can follow. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form in as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.
My personal life is my game. Everything here will be according to my rules. Everything will be the way I want! I am worthy of love and I will receive it easily and quickly!”
In the meantime, go to the mirror again, smile and say: “I love you! You are beautiful just the way you are!” You have just achieved the love of the most important and dear person to you!
Every person from birth has all the necessary resources to realize any dream, achieve any goal! If you want something, if you have an idea, know: you ALREADY have everything you need to achieve it!
