The American psychologist Dorothy Tennov, in her book Love and Being in Love, described passionate romantic love as a blind biological mechanism that provided our ancestors with the ability not only to reproduce, but also to raise common children for some time. Tennov does not consider being in love true love, but rather describes it as a painful condition that has the following symptoms.
1) Constant obsessive thoughts about the object of love.
2) Acute, painful need for reciprocal feelings of the object.
3) Feeling of euphoria in case of reciprocity.
4) Focus on the object of love to such an extent that a person can ignore important responsibilities and not solve pressing problems.
5) Strong sexual attraction to the object of love.
Love is like chemistry
A large number of scientific works encroached on romantic love from a trivial physiological point of view - scientists were interested in what biochemical processes contribute to romantic feelings. For example, in one experiment, a female interviewer approached young people and left her phone with them after the interview. It turned out that men called her back more often if they had previously crossed a mountain river - the excitement from physical activity contributed to romantic interest. Some hormones and other substances are associated specifically with love, in particular the following.
1) Phenylethylamine is a substance that is produced in small amounts (very little!) in the brain. It is it that is largely responsible for the "crazy" love.
2) Oxytocin. A hormone that is produced in the brain and acts on the genitals (both men and women), and also promotes the release of milk in nursing mothers.
Love is like a triangle
Psychologist Zeke Rubin has suggested looking at romantic love as a set of three elements—attachment, caring, and intimacy:
1) Attachment - the need for care, approval and physical contact with another person. For example, attachment is indicated by the desire to urgently complain to a loved one if you feel bad or lonely.
2) Concern - concern for other people's needs and happiness more than one's own. The feeling of caring makes us put the interests of another person in the first place, worry about him, strive to help and comfort.
3) Intimacy means the shared thoughts, desires and feelings that bring two people together. The greater the intimacy, the greater the trust between people, the greater the desire to share ideas and emotions.
Love is like a palette
In his book The Colors of Love, psychologist John Alan Lee considered not the essence of romantic love, but its varieties. He compares love to a color wheel. It has three primary colors on it, and Lee believed that there are three primary styles of love. He called them beautifully and in Greek - Eros, Ludos and Storge:
1) Eros - love for an ideal person.
2) Ludos - love is like a game.
3) Storge - love as friendship.
Continuing the palette analogy, Lee suggested that the three primary colors could be combined to create complementary colors. The result is nine varieties of love.
Love is like friendship
One of the classics of the "psychology of love" Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues identified two types of love: compassionate and passionate.
1) Passionate love is associated with strong and uncontrollable emotions. According to Hatfield, it depends on our upbringing and random circumstances - the environment or some personality characteristics of a person signal to us that it is "romantic" - and the brain receives a signal to fall in love.
2) Compassionate love is qualitatively different, ideally passionate love should turn into compassionate. This kind of love is based on common values, and it can be called love-friendship, when people like to just chat, spend time together.
5 chose
Love is a magical feeling. But scientists are trying to sort out any magic, find its formula and explain it from a scientific point of view. Let's get ahead of today Valentine's Day, let's try to look at this feeling with their rational eyes.
It's no secret that the feeling of falling in love is caused by certain chemical processes that occur in our body. For example, "butterflies in the stomach"- this is adrenaline, dopamine is responsible for the feeling of euphoria, oxytocin is responsible for tenderness and affection. All these substances, according to scientists, act like a drug and even cause psychological dependence. Therefore, when love passes, a person may begin to break down - depression. In addition, hormones reduce critical thinking in relation to the object of love. In other words, we see only advantages in a loved one and do not notice any shortcomings at all.
Serotonin is the enemy of monogamy
But serotonin can be a cure for love. Scientists conducted such an experiment - they gave mice a loading dose of serotonin. This led to the fact that usually monogamous rodents rejected their regular partners and began to lead a wild life. So be careful with antidepressants, which also increase serotonin levels.
sweet feeling
Have you ever thought about why boyfriends often give girls sweets, chocolate hearts and other sweets? It turns out that this seemingly innocent tradition has a biological explanation. Chocolate contains substances that help you fall in love. Scientists have found that sweet tooth fall in love more often than those who are on a diet.
Love lives three years
This famous statement has a scientific basis. Active production of love hormones lasts from 18 months to three years. This is the so-called "bouquet-candy period": hormones create a positive attitude and smooth out sharp corners in relationships. Such a system was thought out by nature so that a man does not leave a woman and at least for the first years helps to take care of the common offspring. It turns out that three years of love is such a natural "maternity leave".
This does not mean that after three years love passes and you need to leave. It's just that people take off their rose-colored glasses and begin to perceive each other more adequately. Sometimes this turning point is accompanied by quarrels, and in some cases it really leads to a break. But often people successfully overcome problems and move to a new level: their relationship becomes more balanced, but no less tender.
Stress is not a hindrance to love
When you read about the war or about other difficult periods of history, you are surprised that, despite all the horror of what is happening, people loved and fell in love. It turns out that extreme situations not only do not contradict love, but can also provoke it. After all, the stress hormone adrenaline is also responsible for falling in love. So, if in a difficult situation a suitable candidate is found on the horizon, falling in love with him is as easy as shelling pears.
The scientists did a funny experiment. Pretty girl left her phone different men. So, it was mostly those who shortly before that experienced a stressful situation called back to her - for example, they forded a mountain river.
And yet scientists have not convinced me. Love is a magical feeling.
And I wish you as much of this magic as possible in your life!
“Love is a fire that ignites the soul,” wrote great philosopher Giordano Bruno. But what does science say about love?
Indeed, love is a feeling about which they composed poems and sang songs. Throughout the history of mankind, philosophers of different schools have tried to come up with an explanation, to find the cause of this state, which pushes people to unthinkable actions and gives a whole range of different emotions. As soon as love was not named and did not try to define it. The ancient Greeks distinguished 4 “kinds” of love - falling in love (eros), affection, friendship (philia), tenderness (storge) and, finally, unconditional, sacrificial love (agape). But behind all these words lies one single feeling.
But what do we know about love, apart from what is told in art and philosophical treatises?
From the moment the ancient Greeks tried to define love, the development of science has stepped far forward. People flew into space and descended to the bottom of the ocean. With the help of powerful telescopes, you can observe distant galaxies, and modern microscopes allow you to see particles invisible to the naked eye. But have people advanced in understanding themselves?
Neuroscience can help answer this question.
In the human body, a huge number of chemical reactions take place every second. Breathing, muscle contraction, processing of visual, auditory, tactile information - all this is regulated by biochemical reactions that may seem quite complex at first glance. And among the whole variety of chemicals involved in these millions of reactions, one should single out a class of substances called neurotransmitters.
A feature of neurotransmitters is that they are involved in the transmission of an electrochemical impulse between neurons. Neurotransmitters are synthesized in the cells of the body, after which these molecules are released into the synaptic cleft - the distance between two neighboring neurons - and activate the receptors of the next neuron. So the impulse moves along nervous system– from a neuron to another neuron, or from a neuron to a muscle, for example. This process is a bit like the movement of cars on the highway - if one car slows down, then it transmits a “stop” signal to the next car, which transmits the signal further.
There are a fairly large number of neurotransmitters, and each of them has a specific function. For example, adrenaline is an excitatory neurotransmitter. In large quantities, adrenaline is released in stressful conditions. It seems to be signaling to the nervous system “Threat! Mobilize now!" Signals from the nervous system are transmitted to the muscles - an increased heartbeat occurs, pressure rises ... In general, there is a general mobilization of the body, aimed at eliminating danger and combating stress.
But there are not only neurotransmitters that signal a threat - there are also their opposites, which transmit a signal that the situation, on the contrary, is pleasant. And, as it turned out in the course of research, these neurotransmitters are responsible for the mysterious feeling that has been exciting people since ancient times, sung in poetry and prose.
One of the neurotransmitters that plays a direct role in getting pleasure from performing any action is dopamine. It is one of the main factors in the emergence of motivation, because it is thanks to this neurotransmitter that a person experiences a feeling of pleasure. It can be anything - eating delicious food, sex, any specific action. And this has the other side of the coin - it is partly due to the action of dopamine that drug addiction. Drugs stimulate dopamine receptors, as a result of which a person gets pleasant sensations.
Dopamine is part of a whole system called the reward system. Its principle is very simple and is based on the stimulation of any behavior by rewarding in the form of positive emotions. At first, evolution fixed the activities necessary for the survival of the species, such as food and sex. Did the right thing - keep the reward in the form of a dopamine stimulus. It may seem that now the activities required to receive emotional rewards have become a little more complicated, like making money, finding a comfortable home. However, they are directly related to the very first behaviors and are also rewarded with dopamine.
Dopamine has another feature - it begins to be produced before the action has taken place. That is, some subjectively pleasant situation is formed in a person’s thoughts - dopamine is released. The person seeks to recreate this situation and, if successful, dopamine is released again. This is how drug addiction works - a person experiences pleasure even before he has taken the drug, maybe he has just begun to prepare the place for this - but dopamine has already been synthesized. The next time you took the drug after the preparation, dopamine was released again. Now the person is caught in a vicious circle.
The irony is that love in this regard is not much different from taking drugs from a chemical point of view, because the same release of dopamine into the blood occurs. But now the incentive for this is the other person and the desire to be with him, to achieve mutual affection. It is dopamine that plays an important role during the period of falling in love.
But not only dopamine is the only chemical basis of love. Another important neurotransmitter is serotonin, which is otherwise called the "hormone of happiness." The functions of serotonin are very multifaceted - it stimulates muscle tissue and enhances attention, helping to concentrate on the goal. But one of these functions is related to the work of the brain. In the human brain, both the centers responsible for positive emotions and the centers responsible for negative emotions are stimulated. And if the role of the above dopamine is to stimulate the center of positive emotions, then serotonin suppresses the centers responsible for negative emotions. And, which is logical to assume, with a lack of serotonin, depression can occur. But an excess of serotonin is extremely harmful - in medicine, a condition called "serotonin syndrome" is known, which occurs just at a high concentration of this neurotransmitter. Euphoria, mania, insomnia and hallucinations are just a small part of what can occur with "serotonin syndrome".
It is curious that at the initial pores of falling in love, the level of serotonin decreases, which partly determines the feeling of anxiety and anxiety.
The third hormone that contributes to the feeling of love is oxytocin. Thanks to oxytocin, tenderness and affection arise in the phase when the relationship of lovers has become permanent. Oxytocin in general plays a significant role in the emergence of social bonds. A high concentration of oxytocin causes a feeling of trust and goodwill towards other people. It has even been suggested that oxytocin be used in medicine to treat people with autism, since autism makes it difficult to establish social contacts and, in general, to recognize the emotions of other people.
Oxytocin also has another function - stimulation of uterine contractions. During childbirth, such a huge amount of oxytocin is released into the blood of a woman that ... causes such a strong feeling as the love of a mother for a child.
The human brain is a rather complex structure, but gradually there are less and less white spots in it. So such a mysterious phenomenon as love gradually finds its explanation - but does not lose all its significance from this.
2. Love lives for three years
And this is not a whim of a French writer Frederic Begbeder who wrote the book of the same name. , and not even logical, but biological. Three years - just such a period guaranteed the participation of the father in the first years of the life of the child and his mother with our ancient ancestors. In part, perhaps, this is where the three-year maternity leave arose.
3. Love is blinding
But the German researcher Andreas Barthel came to the conclusion that love is blind in the truest sense of the word. In the brain of a person in love, the zones responsible for making rational and deliberate decisions are simply fast asleep. This "blind" state can last from several months to three years. This is explained simply - if we immediately noticed all the shortcomings of the partner, then we would enter into serious relationship with such extreme caution that the continuation of the human race would be completely in jeopardy.
4. Love is a drug addiction
If you make a tomography of a person in love and a drug addict, then there is a lot in common in the results of the images. For example, in lovers, two areas of the brain are active at the same time, which are responsible for the so-called “reward system”. This is due to the high level. In the same way, only cocaine acts on the human brain.
5. Love can be "cured"
As a result of the experiment, scientists found that if a mouse is given a shock dose of serotonin, then it will reject its permanent partner and begin to mate with everyone. The thing is that serotonin significantly reduces the level of dopamine, and at the same time “kills” love affection (but not sexual attraction). By the way, the level of serotonin increases significantly while taking various antidepressants.
6. Unrequited Love Leads to Depression
What processes occur in the body of a person who is unhappy in love? Man goes through two stages in his suffering. First, unrequited love increases the level of dopamine - the feeling of love escalates so much that a period of blind rage, jealousy and aggression sets in. Often, threats or desperate attempts to force the object of suffering to fall in love with oneself are used. This stage is rich in emotions and experiences, but not so durable, and sooner or later it is replaced by the next stage - the level of dopamine drops sharply, but it also passes with time.
7. Men love with their eyes, and women love with their ears.
During the stage of acute love in men, the area of \u200b\u200bthe brain responsible for vision is activated. And in women - the area responsible for hearing. That is why a man in love remembers, and a woman always remembers all the promises made by men in a fit of love lyrics.
8. Not everyone knows how to love
Have you met people who claim they have never been in love in their lives? Perhaps they simply did not meet a worthy object of adoration. But there is a possibility that they suffer from a rare disease - hypopituitarism, which simply does not allow a person to feel all the emotions associated with falling in love.
9. Falling in love in an extreme situation is the easiest way.
It would seem that in extreme situations there is no place for love - you have to be afraid, save yourself, survive and fight. But it is precisely such terrible conditions that are fertile ground for the emergence of a great and bright feeling. The fact is that in such a situation, our body produces adrenaline, and the brain perceives it not only as a stress hormone, but also as a hormone of love. We worry, the pulse goes off scale, there is not enough breathing - the desperately in love feels the same way. And if at such a moment a worthy representative of the opposite sex is nearby, then we are.
Love, from a scientific point of view, can be said to be a chemical reaction in which hormones and chemicals are produced, they arouse admiration, sympathy, attraction to the person you like.
Love, from the point of view of science, has three stages, which are affected by different chemicals formed in the body.
At the first stage, which is called falling in love, the hormones testosterone and estrogen are produced in excess. Estrogens are steroid hormones produced mainly in the body of a woman. Testosterone is the main sex hormone in men. These hormones regulate attraction in both men and women, and are found in both. Only one is predominant, and the second is usually contained in a small amount.
Just with an increase in the level of these hormones, a feeling of passion, attraction, falling in love appears, when there is a desire to see the object of desire, to be with him. If this does not happen, then insomnia, anxiety, apathy appear, appetite disappears,
When a beloved object of adoration appears, breathing quickens, throws into heat, palms sweat, it is hard to speak. All this is explained by the fact that a surge of hormones provokes the brain to produce certain substances: serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. The substance serotonin is a brain neurotransmitter, when it enters the bloodstream, it turns into a hormone and causes a surge of vigor and strength, gives confidence, inner happiness. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter from the group of phenylethylamines, responsible for pleasure. Produced in the brain of people, it causes a feeling of stormy unbridled joy and happiness, euphoria. Moreover, an increase in dopamine reduces the level of serotonin and vice versa. Norepinephrine is released when there is a stressful situation. It neutralizes the hormone of fear and causes a feeling of confidence, leads to action. In this state, a person is ready to solve any problems, to carry out various tasks.
The feelings of strong passion that have arisen lead to various changes in the body. Usually this is a feeling of boundless happiness, euphoria, delight, great joy, with mutual love, or deep depression, with an unrequited feeling. Phenylethylamine is the main substance that affects the centers of the brain, controlling logical thinking and actions.
It activates neurotransmitters (dopamine), stimulating the work of the central nervous system.
Phenylethylamine is present in chocolate and other sweets.
Feeling in love requires endogenous phenylethylamine, which is secreted by the brain.
At the beginning of a passionate and enthusiastic relationship, different parts of the brain are activated in men and women. In men, it is responsible for vision, in women, for hearing. Therefore, it is very important for a man how his beloved looks, and for a girl, compliments from her beloved.
Attachment
Feeling of affection is the next stage of love and trust, which replaces falling in love. Two different hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin, control it. They are responsible for tenderness, care and fidelity. Oxytocin - the hormone of love and motherhood, strengthens the mutual bond of lovers. The stronger their physical relationship, the stronger their union and the greater the love. The level of oxytocin increases with touch, kissing, making love. - read and understand the psychology of such attachment (Be sure to read)
Vasopressin, close to oxytocin, is also responsible for emotional attachment. He controls monogamy. The fidelity of the partner depends on its quantity in the cerebral cortex. If the amount is suppressed, then the man loses interest in his partner.
There is a big difference between these hormone brothers: lack of oxytocin does not affect health in any way, since vasopressin deficiency causes various serious diseases, such as Parhon's syndrome, hyperpexic syndrome, non-diabetic antidiabetes and others. He is the only regulator of urine output from the kidneys, and it is he who is responsible for water retention in the body. Therefore, an excess of it can cause irreparable harm.
Choosing the perfect partner
The third stage of love is the choice of the most suitable, one might say, ideal partner. He can leave the first two stages: after falling in love, addiction and confirmation that this is the same partner comes. Or it can go in parallel. Right choice is the choice of a partner with good genes, an excellent immune system, strong and more adapted to life. This is a guarantee that the offspring will be healthy, strong, intelligent, capable of survival, talented, and will become successful people.
At the third stage, other substances are already acting - pheromones. These are substances that are released on human skin, along with sweat, this is a natural aroma inherent in every person. Pheromone Aroma In animals, this odor helps determine the healthiest and strongest male. The same thing happens with people. In men, the sex hormone androsterone, which is produced from the hormone testosterone, acts. The smell of it attracts women at the beginning of the cycle. The female hormones that attract men are copulins.
The unique and inimitable smell of pheromone will not let you make a mistake and helps you find the only one you need among thousands of people. There is a scientific version that similar people are attracted by DNA analysis.
