How to stop being an introvert and become an extrovert. Tips for introverts: How to survive in a big office and at a noisy party

Are you the type of person who would rather sit in the corner of a room, hoping no one will bother you with their conversations? Maybe you're giving up going to social events just because you'd like to stay at home and focus on developing your hobby? If you want to move to another level of socialization, you can train to be a big extrovert and enjoy being with other people.

Psychologists divide people by personality type into introverts and extroverts. The type of personality is determined by the reactions that people show in certain life situations. The reaction that is characteristic of one person in a certain situation may differ from the reaction of another person in the way of interacting with the outside world. Introverts try to stay away from society, while extroverts try to be the center of attention.

As a rule, an introvert or an extrovert allows himself to relate to this type of personality, since this is an effective way of survival in specific situations. For example, if you are an introvert, you probably see certain benefits in being in less noisy crowds. You identify specific situations for yourself in which this personality trait allows you to be more effective in getting what you need or want from the situation.

What defines an introvert.

While you may have become an introvert in an attempt to protect yourself in certain situations, it is also known that there are certain traits and characteristics that are part of personality. When studying personality, one can notice clear boundaries between introverts and extroverts, so certain circumstances allow people to find their individuality in relation to social situations.

If you look at an introvert, you can expect specific answers from him. Perhaps you yourself have said things to yourself such as, "I know myself," or heard from another person, "You have the freedom to go your own way." Generally, introverts are a less attractive personality type due to their level of socialization, which has not been developed according to the cultural standards that extroverts hold.

In addition to social and psychological differences, there are biological differences between introverts and extroverts. It has been shown that nerve impulses and chemical reactions that occur in the brain of an introvert behave somewhat differently than it does in the brain of an extrovert. In particular, the reticular activating system of the brain, where most stimuli originate, is less active in the introvert. Also, signals from the anterior thalamus of the introvert's brain are sent to the frontal lobe with a slight delay.

Stimuli that affect the brain of an introvert create stimuli in areas of the brain that are not characteristic of an extrovert and lead to more introverted qualities. For example, in the amygdala, where emotions originate, stimuli are more intense in introverts who are in a social situation. In extroverts, stimuli are more intense in the motor area, in which extravert stimuli are generated somewhat later, since signals travel along other, longer paths. At the same time, in social situations, long-term memory is stimulated in introverts, while short-term memory is stimulated in extroverts, which allows them to quickly connect to motor skills and respond to the situation.

We can say that the differences between introverts and extroverts are only in how the network of neurons is built, and in how the reaction to stimuli stimulates the energies in both types of people. The introvert's stimuli are inward, while the extravert's are outward.

Is it worth changing?

The first thing to recognize is that an introvert whose being is directed inward is not such a bad character trait. In fact, it was simply embedded in the human brain from childhood, programmed. Self-study is acceptable and permissible, at the same time, it should be borne in mind that the world in which we live is extroverted. And in order to adapt to society, you need to start expanding social media.

It is shown that the number of extroverts and introverts is in the ratio of three to one. Extroverts are people who go out more often, find social media, and develop themselves through the people they meet. And most likely extroverts are the cultural basis of our society. However, you can learn to change your approach to join a culture based on extraversion while still keeping your true energy focused inward.

And you do not have to completely change your being from an introvert to an extrovert, instead, you will transform into an image that will allow you to benefit from various aspects of life, which will help you more easily achieve your goals and desires. You can continue to be a thoughtful person and develop yourself, and at the same time you can find the freedom to create connections and explore other people and their abilities, developing traits of an extroverted type of person.

Steps to extraversion.

One of the things to keep in mind when moving to an extraverted social class is how you achieve your goals, since achieving goals alone rarely leads to great success. It is also important to understand that this is done in a culture that is more accepting of extraversion. You don't have to lose your own identity as an introvert to use your social identity, and you can always go back to your roots of understanding yourself.

The first thing you need to figure out for yourself is whether you really want to change. Think about the goals you can achieve by focusing your energy outward for a short amount of time. Remember that our society achieves its purpose through social networks. And even just by showing signs of extroverts, you will open up other possibilities, including the social networks you have developed.

You should also keep in mind that there are introverts who, by focusing on their goals for greater social inclusion, have been given the opportunity to achieve greater success. For example, Joan Allen has repeatedly stated that she advocates privacy more than social media. However, she remains an excellent actress, realizing that extraversion allows her to get more opportunities than if she always kept within her personal space. Michael Jordon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Laura Bush, Bill Gates and even Steve Martin have all claimed to be introverts, but have prepared themselves to focus energy outward to achieve what they want.

The first step you should take to become an extrovert is to find a social space that is most comfortable for you. For example, you may spend more time with friends with whom you are more open and who you enjoy spending time with. Perhaps you have a specific plan for climbing the corporate ladder that requires you to be a big extrovert. Start from where you are already comfortable, this will be your first step towards transformation.

The next step is to move your energy outward. For example, if you are in a social situation, make one energetic attempt to be more receptive to the outside world, such as meeting a new person, or expanding the group of people you associate with, even if just for one evening. You don't need to change your whole personality, instead you are working on moving your energy outward in small chunks to create social networks that you can use.

Over time, you will be able to feel a change in the direction of your energies. While you can keep your true introverted nature of being, you can also learn to focus your energy into social activities that will allow you to achieve that. What do you want in a culture that is built on socialization. The rewards are simple: you'll have opportunities to expand your connections, get new ideas, and even climb the corporate ladder. This will lead you to a more effective lifestyle, the ability to know not only yourself, but also other people.

If you are working to achieve specific goals or want to expand your capabilities, then most effective way achieving goals will be the pursuit of understanding yourself through social networks. You don't need to rewire your brain or look for different ways to focus your energy. Instead, you can simply crawl out of the shell you're in in order to develop the skills and achieve the goals you've always dreamed of.

Barriers to extraversion:

Underestimation of extraversion. Spending time in solitude is just as important as spending time with people. If you are a "deep" introvert, you may underestimate the positive role that other people can play in your life, you underestimate friendship, the joy of communication and laughter. It is important to maintain a balance between loneliness and communication. You do not have to give up your activities, which were characteristic of you as an introvert, you are likely to find even more satisfaction in these activities.

Underdeveloped social skills. Social skills can be taught to you like any other set of skills, just like riding a bicycle, you don't know how to do it at first, but with time and practice you become a real virtuoso. One of the reasons why introverts try to avoid social activities, is that they experience discomfort being in a large company of people, and above all because they do not know what to do in situations unknown to them. It takes a real mastery of communication to feel completely comfortable when starting a conversation with strangers. The more often you do this, the easier it becomes for you. Accept the fact that you just haven't learned it yet.

Wrong beliefs about extroverts. If you find that extroverts are petty and annoying, do you want to become like them? Of course no. Many introverts have the wrong impression of extroverts from early childhood. Of course, such a vision does not and did not allow you to become an extrovert. However, you do not have to choose such limiting beliefs about extroverts for yourself, you are free to form your own vision. positive sides characteristic of extroverts. And strive to develop them.

Spending time with the wrong people. Would you like to spend more time with people you don't like? Of course not. If for you being an extrovert means spending more time with the people you try to avoid, you won't have any motivation to do so. But even here you are free to choose such social groups, communication in which would bring you more pleasure. By becoming an extrovert, you will be able to decide for yourself with whom and when you want to communicate.

Re-evaluation of Internet communication. Internet communication has its place in the life of introverts, however, it is nothing compared to live communication, when you can see, hear and feel the presence of other people. Often, voice and body language can communicate more than text, and emotional connections are made more easily and quickly when the person is in front of you. In real life you can get to know a person in a few months, on the Internet, you can communicate with a person for years, but not know what he really is. And no, you don't have to completely stop talking online, just don't let it crowd out meeting people.

Perhaps it is very difficult to change your personality, and you yourself know, since you have already embarked on the path of self-development, how difficult it is. Sometimes it can be difficult to even change one habit. However, any introvert can become more extroverted than before, any introverted person can go “outside” and begin to communicate with other people and even enjoy it. Here are some tips to help you become an extrovert.

How to become an extrovert:

Don't avoid socializing, it deprives you of many opportunities that you could have by socializing and meeting new people. And think not only about yourself, because there are many people in the world who could benefit from communication with you. Keep it up, you'll be fine!

“I have been tormented by this question for more than a day. I asked it to everyone I know and whom I don't know. I asked professional psychologists and teachers, no one gives a definite answer, opinions are divided. One thing unites people: almost everyone is perceived as something negative and uncomfortable. And I think that initially we are all ambiverts, but as we grow and develop, while we are brought up, some qualities from one side or another begin to prevail in us. Therefore, during the formation of a personality in the puberty period, we already classify ourselves as extra- or intro-. But we are always changing - and the inner world, and views, and circumstances, and the environment - and our temperament is also subject to change. So an extrovert can become an introvert and vice versa, but the second is more difficult because of the stereotypes of society. I address you as an authority in the field of psychology. What do you think about this and why?

Sandra, 23

Larisa Kharlanova, psychologist:

"Hello Sandra!

Introversion or extraversion is not something that can be brought up in us - just like temperament, however.

If we acquire this way of communicating with the world, it is very early in childhood. All we can do is to take into account this peculiarity of ours, taking important decisions about a profession or facing something that is very difficult for us to do and difficult to participate in. People evaluate introverts negatively because they do not really understand what is at stake. This is easily confused with schizoid traits or autistic manifestations.

We have almost no chance of developing the other side of ourselves in much the same way as the dominant side. When raising children, choosing activities for them, it is very important to take into account their characteristics, protecting them from unnecessary overwork. But it is known that many people become more extroverted in the second half of life and vice versa, introversion becomes available to extroverts.

Recently, in the auditorium of a psychological club in Zurich, the old building where the Institute was founded, the phrase was heard: “I understand that 90% of the people present here now are introverts, but I suggest ...” The leader of the meeting invited everyone to stand up and get acquainted with as many people as possible, the time for each “meeting” was limited and by the sound of the gong it was necessary to move on to another person.

It is known that most people who choose the profession of a psychologist are introverts. For example, it was difficult for me to talk and meet a new person every 5 minutes, but when I realized that this was only because I was an introvert, that, after all, on the contrary, the same person and that everything, in the most difficult case, is limited In 5 minutes, I was able to relax, turn it into a game for myself, and enjoy the conversation. And an extrovert would not even think for a second, starting to communicate.

An introvert is not someone who cannot communicate, this is a person who is always and above all turned into himself. An introvert can behave like an extrovert, but this will require more mental energy from him.

Different people differ from each other not only in appearance, but also in their mindset, temperament and character, as well as in the way they receive energy. It is on this basis that experts divide people into introverts and extroverts, calling these concepts conditional types of human personality. In addition to these classifications, there are many more, but not everyone knows who introverts and extroverts are, how to become an extrovert, or vice versa.

Recently, psychologists have adopted this tendency to divide people into innumerable groups and classifications, although in fact such a division helps to better understand people and their characters. But one of the oldest and officially recognized is the classification into introverts and extroverts, this issue has been studied for more than a hundred years. Of particular interest and relevance is the question of whether an introvert can become an extrovert and vice versa.

As early as the beginning of the 20th century, Jung, a world-famous specialist and psychologist, described in his works the types of characters and temperaments - an extrovert and an introvert, conditionally dividing society into two such groups. To understand what these types are, what is the difference between them, you first need to familiarize yourself with the definition of both terms. Besides modern psychology provides official transcript introvert and extrovert.

extrovert

An extrovert is a person who likes the practical and social aspects of life, that is, any tasks and operations with external real objects. To understand in more detail, psychologists call the main qualities of the character of extroverts, namely:

• friendliness and openness in communications;
• courtesy and sociability;
• sociability;
• assertiveness and activity;
• predisposition to risky actions against the background of susceptibility;
• impulsiveness, intemperance and possible aggressive reaction.

Thus, the listed traits and behaviors clearly demonstrate an extrovert in a person, and it will be quite difficult to hide this feature of temperament.

Introvert

An introvert is a person who is comfortable being inside himself, plunging into a world of reflection and fantasy.. These people exist in their comfort zone outside of society, any contacts and communications cause them embarrassment, discomfort, in the most neglected cases - fear and unrest. You can define an introvert by several qualities in character, namely:

• shyness and modesty;
• a tendency to solitude, a limited number of friends and loved ones;
• a tendency to be pessimistic;
• lack of aggression even in a situation that is conducive to such behavior;
• dislike for the manifestation of strong emotions;
• excessive control of their emotional state;
• excessive adherence to principles, not allowing to go against their convictions.

Introverts are calm and balanced people who do not show their emotions and outwardly seem to be closed people, in turn, extroverts are open and impulsive. Introverts spend energy inside themselves, extroverts splash it out. Extroverts are prone to change their minds, which introverts are completely untrained in.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

If you want to understand for yourself whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, just answer a couple of questions. How will you act in a crisis situation? An extrovert will react quickly with actions, while an introvert will think for a long time. What kind of vacation do you prefer? Extroverts are closer to rest in society and active pastimes, introverts like passive stay in solitude.

We draw an analogy of two types of personality

In fact, to assume that all people can be conditionally divided into extroverts and introverts is a big mistake. Psychologists note that each person has the qualities of both types, but in an unequal ratio. In different periods of life and in different situations, both introversion and extraversion of temperament and character can appear in people. And the most exciting questions for many people are whether it is possible to become an extrovert or an introvert, how can an introvert become an extrovert and vice versa.

Do you consider yourself an extrovert?

YesNot

Is it possible to go from extrovert to introvert?

First of all, a person must understand that there are very few absolute extroverts and introverts, most of the population has characteristics in temperament from both groups. Before determining whether it is possible to “retrain” from an extrovert into an introvert, psychologists note the main advantages of an extrovert, namely:

• optimism;
• active life position;
• energy;
• initiative;
• openness to society;
• readiness for work and various activities.

Psychologists note that it will be quite difficult to completely change from a pronounced extrovert and introvert, since already from childhood such a person shows adaptability and adaptation to living conditions, the ability to perceive information and various reactions. It is only possible to approach the type of an introvert by cultivating some of its features and behavior patterns.

Is it possible to go from an introvert to an extrovert?

Much more often the question is how to stop being an introvert and become an extrovert, because for many introverts life is spoiled by excessive isolation and asociality. First of all, psychologists insist on reassessing this need, giving attention to the main advantages of the character of an introvert, namely:

• self-confidence;
• the ability to focus on one goal;
• creativity of thinking;
• excellent level of self-control over emotions and thinking;
• efficiency;
• integrity.

This type of character is more predisposed to intellectual, but independent work, which is also in demand in modern society. It is almost impossible to completely “retrain” from an introvert, closed in on himself and with an orientation purely within himself, into a social and communicative extrovert. Psychologists say that such people will be able to reach the golden mean, since the model of behavior and character traits are laid down from childhood.

Conclusion

An extrovert is a person with an active life position who prefers live communication, collective pastime, prone to impulsiveness and emotionality. An introvert is a shy and somewhat reserved person who is closer to solitude with himself, self-control and hiding his emotions from others. Today in society it is quite rare to meet people who can 100% belong to one or another type. And it will be practically impossible for such personalities to change from one type to the opposite, only the golden mean is possible.

Imagine that you work in a team that is commonly called friendly and united. Joint corporate parties and collective field trips, discussion of something interesting that is not directly related to the work process, just cute chatter about nothing during a break - all this is in the order of things.

And suddenly a person appears in your team who does not want to participate in all this mess, i.e. " public life". He simply comes to work, conscientiously fulfills his duties, communicates with colleagues only because of operational necessity, and tries to skip joint informal events under any pretext. Moreover, his appearance is such that he does not want to approach him once again: either gloomy, or offended. At the same time, he can work really well and a lot, come up with initiatives and practical proposals, but will he be accepted in the team? Will it arouse suspicion?

At best, such a person will be considered "weird" and left alone, but will be kept in a certain isolation and is unlikely to be offered a leadership position or promotion. At worst, they will try to get rid of him, because it is not clear how to build teamwork with him and interact in general.

In fact, there is nothing strange about this man. He is not a psycho, not a sociopath, and in general, he can treat others very well. He's just an introvert.

To begin with, introversion is not “good” or “bad.” It's just a feature of the body, like the color of the hair or the shape of the nose. Only this feature concerns not appearance, but the method nervous system respond to stimuli, i.e. environment and adapt to it.

You will be surprised, but there will definitely be people who will be captivated by your idea. More than one example is already known when, thanks to this service, people found not just like-minded people, but acquired business partners and even investors. And all this without personal meetings, offline presentations and other PR.

Thus, you can acquire an extrovert partner for the development of your business, who will take over the public presentation part of the work. You understand that for further “promotion” you cannot do without it, so why not delegate this part of the work to someone who really knows how and loves to do it?

It seems that an introvert, by its very nature, cannot become a leader, a manager, a public person - because this is contrary to his nature. In fact, to say so is the same as saying that a person with a non-model appearance cannot become an actor.

Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Harrison Ford, Mark Zuckenberg, Mahatma Gandhi, Steven Spielberg, Marilyn Monroe, Elon Musk - all these people are introverts. Has this prevented them from becoming prominent, famous, even cult figures? Not at all. An introverted leader is not nonsense. Often, such individuals manage to play this role better than recognized extroverts.

How do they do it?

In fact, introverts have a lot of advantages over extroverts:

• They are accustomed to think carefully and formulate their thoughts before they say or do something.

• They are more attentive to the surrounding people and the environment, which means they are able to more objectively assess the situation in which they are.

• They are able to more easily build trusting one-on-one relationships, gathering around them not a crowd of fans, but a reliable circle of like-minded people.

• They are able to process large amounts of information and work "for the result", not paying attention to personal ambitions.

• Occupying a leading position, they strengthen it not by superiority over others, but by increasing their own prestige through the exchange of information, strengthening ties, caring for their employees and subordinates.

• And finally, introverts understand that in order to achieve a certain position, they need more time to practice the necessary skills, study, therefore, as a rule, they are rarely amateurs in their field.

Image is nothing?

Although, of course, introverts still have to, if not learn to be extroverts, then at least pretend to be them. Unfortunately, society is organized in such a way that often the first impression of a person plays a decisive role in further communication and cooperation with him.

Thus, in various situations, the purpose of which can be largely defined as "make a favorable impression", the introvert will have to play by the general rules for some time.

At an interview or business negotiations, at the first personal meeting with partners and in other similar situations, you will have to pay attention

• On your image, and this applies not only to appearance, but also to the things that you surround yourself with during such a conversation - from accessories and car brand to the place where this meeting will be held.

• On the manner of conducting the dialogue and its content.

However, if an introvert needs to play the role of an extrovert, he can do it brilliantly. True, he will need to comprehensively study the question of "how it happens with them" and carefully prepare accordingly.

It would be unfair to say that an introvert striving for success has fewer problems than an extrovert. Yes, there are problems, and they will have to be solved. This needs to be recognized and accepted.

This does not mean that you need to set a goal to become an extrovert - such a metamorphosis is hardly possible even for physiological reasons. However, there is still a solution. Its essence is to understand your strengths and weaknesses and learn to compensate for the latter at the expense of the former.

One more thing that any introvert needs to take for granted: without interacting with people in modern world it is almost impossible to achieve anything, so you still have to look for the best ways and means of interaction.

Here are just a few solutions that will help an introvert find the right strategy for interacting with people:

• Bet not on PR, but on the quality of the final result of your activity. By impressing or surprising other people, you will get them to want to talk about you and what you do. Give them that opportunity by sharing your successes with people.

• Provide for yourself the opportunity to restore resources after you feel that they are running out.

• Think not about how difficult it will be to perform this or that action, but about the result. Focusing on the result helps to concentrate on the task and distract from the annoying factors that arise in the process of solving it.

• Avoid teamwork. Remember that meetings, negotiations, presentations and communication are only a small part of the collective activity. The main thing is the final “product” created as a result of common work. Advantages team game for an introvert, in that in a team he has the opportunity to leave the external, “presentative” part of the activity to someone else, and himself to do what he really knows how to do.

• Get out of your comfort zone: meet new people, learn how to talk on the phone, master other skills that extroverts possess - this will not only help your business, but will also contribute to the development of your personality. Come up with tricks that help you, even though they look unusual - the main thing is that they work.

By the way, in mastering new skills, acquiring the necessary skills and overcoming various kinds of difficulties, the goal setting service can serve as an excellent working tool that helps to approach the existing problem in a comprehensive and effective way to solve it.

Hello my dear reader! Today I will tell you about how to expand the boundaries of your introverted world and learn how to overcome your modesty and shyness in the necessary situation.

Many people, at least once in their lives, have experienced awkwardness and shyness when talking with unfamiliar people. Most often, this problem is faced by adolescents who have already developed critical thinking, allowing them to assess their capabilities. It is so important for them to make a lasting impression on others.

What is shyness?

This is a state that is inherent in insecure people. This feeling is manifested by inertia, excessive silence, stiffness in movements.

At first glance, shy people do not have so many problems. In fact, there are many more of them. The first reason is related to the problem of socialization. Today, the main criterion for a person to be noticed is self-presentation. But, not all people can overcome the feeling of shyness and self-doubt. This problem is especially acute for introverts who cannot fully show.

Different psychologists explain the causes of shyness in their own way. Of course, each of them offers its own solution to this problem. The tips below will help shy people find out the reason for this feeling.

Psychological schools about shyness

Differential psychology states that shyness is an innate feeling. Representatives of this psychological trend believe that shyness is inherited, and nothing can be done about it.

According to behaviorists, human behavior largely depends on situations that have happened to a person throughout his life. Therefore, shyness appears as a person's reaction to adverse circumstances in the past. This, in turn, gave rise to his pathological insecurity.

Psychoanalysts explain the appearance of shyness by the influence of the subconscious conflict on the personality structure. Unsatisfied needs have led to the fact that a person is prone to internal emotional conflicts, which manifest themselves in the form of fear of approaching unfamiliar people.

Followers of individual psychology actively explored this quality. As a result of these studies, they found that it is closely intertwined with the "inferiority complex." This complex appears in early childhood when there is a need to communicate with peers. With an unsuccessful experience of such interaction with other children, the child withdraws into himself, fearing a repetition of an unfavorable situation.

Most likely, it is almost impossible to completely get rid of shyness. What can you advise people who are prone to this feeling?

Psychologists offer such people to engage in self-development. For example, to reduce anxiety, overcome shyness, you need to perform the following exercises:

• In the process of communicating with other people, it is advisable to remember that indecision, stiffness, shyness have nothing to do with the characteristics of the person himself. People are usually not particularly interested in what the person standing in front of them is. Most of them are busy with themselves and their problems. Therefore, there is no need to be shy, because others do not care what he thinks, what he looks like, what a person who feels awkward when communicating speaks about.
• To improve your communication skills, you need to get to know as much as possible with a large number of people. You can start by meeting people online. It can boost the self-esteem of insecure people a little. But, electronic communication does not contribute to the formation of communication skills. Therefore, from conversations on the network, you need to move on to dating in reality. Such communication is a wonderful experience that allows you to easily make new acquaintances and overcome the feeling of awkwardness when communicating with unfamiliar people.
• When communicating, you do not need to think about your own appearance, vocabulary, voice timbre. This follows. For this case, a well-known exercise is suitable, which must be performed standing in front of a mirror, and declaring a poem or story.
• Also, do not avoid long introductory phrases, polite words, which may indicate a person's insecurity and shyness.
• With sudden awkwardness, you can use breathing techniques that will help stabilize your state of mind.

Conclusion

Remember, never be ashamed of yourself!

They love themselves not only for their merits. Therefore, it is desirable for any person forever for the slightest reason. Only in this case, you can overcome your shyness, increase self-esteem and become a self-confident person.