If you analyze your typical day, you will surely find dozens of habits that make life difficult. For example, checking the phone immediately after waking up, sitting in front of the TV or on the Internet, heavy meals at night. All these things, which can be hundreds, not only eat up time, but also have a negative impact on life. But in this article, we will focus on good habits, consider their nature, tips for forming, and also present a list of habits that every person needs to cultivate.
Any habit consists of psychological and physiological aspects. In the case of the psychological, with repeated repetition, there are no longer any difficulties of a volitional or cognitive nature. Whatever your attitude to the skill being formed, after a while you stop experiencing strong positive or negative emotions about it. So it can also work the other way around if the habit is bad for you. If we talk about physiology, then we mean the formation of stable neural connections.
If you seriously want to instill a few habits in yourself, they should ideally affect different areas of your life. Thus, after some time there will be a very tangible positive change in your personality. That is why we have compiled a list of habits from completely different areas of self-development.
Science has not yet found a clear answer to the question of how long it takes to form a habit. Yes, and will not be able to find, because everything is individual and depends on the complexity of the habit itself. An action becomes a habit when it is performed without opposition from the body. Therefore, there is a difference between drinking a glass of water every morning or jogging for several kilometers. The range can vary greatly - from 18 to 254 days. But the number 66 is considered canonical - it is this number of days that you will need to stop motivating yourself and showing willpower. After this period, you will perform actions on the machine and you will not need additional efforts. During this time, the brain ceases to resist and finally forms stable neural connections.
Contrary to popular belief, it's not that hard to start forming a habit. All it takes is a little motivation. Difficulties arise when a person ceases to motivate himself with the onset of regression. Primary euphoria disappears and weekdays come. This moment is the most difficult and most people give up their plans.
What you need to know about habits in the first place?
- For any missed day, you will have to pay several.
- The more complex the habit, the more days it will take to form it.
- Habits associated with physical activity require more time.
- Two important skills contribute to the formation of a habit of any complexity - the ability to motivate yourself and developed willpower.
- Ideally, the habit should be formed immediately after waking up or before going to bed. In these cases, the resistance of the brain is partially absent, and the subconscious mind is an active participant.
Below we present you a list of extremely useful habits for a person who wants to develop in all areas of his life. You may not be able to implement all of them due to the short amount of time, so you can focus on a few. Do the formation of the rest from time to time, because even in this case they will have a positive effect on your brain and body.
Reading
This skill is in the first place for a reason. Reading almost any literature helps to concentrate and form creative and imaginative thinking. In the age of the Internet, our attention is constantly switching from one object to another, which leads to the fact that we cannot focus even during a conversation. Read every day and remember that reading social media feeds and price tags doesn't count.
Jogging
If you are thinking about health and exercise, and time is extremely short, practice jogging. They help to lose weight, are one of the most affordable types of exercises and involve the maximum number of muscles. Running improves your mood and automatically makes you think about proper nutrition.
Walk
It's not the same as running. While walking, you can focus on thoughts or notice things that you didn’t notice before. Many geniuses liked to take a walk during creative crises, and they knew almost everything about the ways of inspiration.
Meditation
Daily meditation practice will allow you to increase your emotional intelligence and awareness. You will be able to deal with stress much faster and more effectively and learn to keep your emotions under control. also teaches patience and concentration. Thus, by forming one habit, you cultivate many others.
brain exercises
Now there are many ways to improve. If you make it a habit to practice, after a while you will see how much better than steel memorize information, make decisions and concentrate. Choose the most uncomfortable games and puzzles for you. Only in this case you will achieve excellent results. Remember that the brain will resist very strongly, but only at first.
Eating fruits and nuts
We are accustomed not to think about the diet and eat what is at hand. Get in the habit of buying and having fruits and nuts on the table. The most affordable apples, peanuts, walnuts and pumpkin seeds. They contain incredibly important and useful material. Make sure that when you run into the kitchen for a quick bite, these products are in your line of sight. They will not bring harm, but the benefits will be enough for the brain and to satisfy hunger.
Self-confidence
Oddly enough, but this is also a habit. We are what we do all the time. And if we make decisions and take actions in all situations, then we will become self-confident. Read books on the subject and immediately move on to practice. Self-confidence increases only when you receive confirmation of its presence. Keep the correct posture, do not mumble, and always clearly know what you want.
Planning
Planning is considered by many to be a boring process that also makes life predictable. This is true if it's okay for you to constantly leave your projects or goals halfway through. The beauty of planning is that it allows you to instantly clear your thoughts and focus on what's important. You will never again realize that you have been surfing the Internet aimlessly for an hour. Planning allows you to see, feel and appreciate time.
Lack of criticism
Hundreds of psychologists after him wrote about this. Any criticism leads at best only to a short-term result. And at worst, it leads to failure and the collapse of relationships. Criticism causes a person to feel resentment and a desire to defend himself. Everyone can criticize, for this you do not even need to be any reasonable person. Therefore, if you, for example, do not like the results of another person’s work, learn to indirectly and unobtrusively point out his mistakes and not cause a negative reaction in him. With this method, a person will draw conclusions himself and do everything as it should. Therefore, train yourself to suppress the first desire to criticize and think about how to get around the protection of a person.
Diary
The benefits of journaling are underestimated. But this way you can find an interlocutor who understands you - yourself. The opportunity to reflect and stay with thoughts one on one is a very useful pastime, because most of our time we do not think, but simply absorb information.
All these habits will allow you to bring your life, body and mind to life in a relatively short time, which will invariably have a positive effect on work or study. Good luck in forming good habits!
Habits can develop spontaneously, they can be the product of purposeful upbringing, develop into stable character traits. Habits are real “bricks”, which then form the style and mode of action of a person, the manner of his communication with others, motives and ways to achieve goals, in a word, everything that ultimately largely determines human destinies, their twists and turns. Habits are the foundation of a lifestyle. A person performs such actions, the constant implementation of which has become his need. Due to the automatism, warmed up as a result of repeated repetition of an action, a so-called dynamic stereotype is formed.
A person who has certain habits feels uncomfortable when they are not followed. If, for example, he did not perform the usual action (did not wash his hands before eating, did not clean the workplace, etc.) or violated etiquette (he was rude to an elder, etc.), he feels anxiety, some kind of psychological discomfort, mood he gets worse, although sometimes he cannot understand why this happened.
Very often people look ill-mannered, not because they do not know it, but because they lack the necessary habits.
Habit facilitates and simplifies all activities. Indeed, as soon as we get into familiar conditions, we are included in the usual work without stress. If any action previously required us to analyze the situation, now the decision is made by itself.
Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate useful, good habits with early childhood.
Order, politeness should be taught to children while this is a game for them. Let it become a habit for them, let the "automatism of etiquette" develop - this will be very useful to them in the future, will facilitate communication with people, will help in any business.
In some families, young people do not know what to do, and little by little they get used to killing time. This habit, acquired in youth, then finds expression in passivity at work, in the organization of leisure. All this serves as an obstacle to the spiritual development of the individual, and the behavior of such people is becoming more situational, and therefore, they are susceptible to random influences, all sorts of temptations, from smoking to drugs. In the end, and pretty soon, this leads to dissatisfaction with life, work, family.
Formation bad habits occurs, as a rule, easier than the formation of good ones, and they are fixed more firmly. After all, bad habits are usually simplified, primitive. On the contrary, good habits are usually more complex and reflect a more perfect upbringing, a more meaningful personality.
Purpose: To reveal the educational opportunities of the family in the formation of habits in children.
Event form: round table
Equipment: computer, multimedia installation, tables, chairs in a circle for all participants.
Event progress.
Host: Good afternoon, dear parents! We invite you to participate in a discussion on the topic of how to cultivate habits in a child. (slide 2)
The great Russian writer L.N. Tolstoy once wrote: "Sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny." .
Often, after the child is three years old, parents begin to notice that in the behavior and statements of their kids there are elements that parents can only blush for. And everyone around is only surprised, where could a child see or hear such a thing? If the baby attends childcare facilities or often plays with children on the street, then parents believe that all negative aspects of behavior are the result of the influence of others. Well, if the child does not yet know how to speak, then such behavior is usually explained by heredity by the parents, and of course not on their part ...
From the point of view of education, an adult, and especially parents for a baby, are the most authoritative source that gives an example to follow in various situations. But since the child is not yet able to analyze actions from a moral point of view: good or bad, he copies absolutely everything, often without even realizing it. Psychologists have long proven that education and learning through observation is one of the effective ways behavior formation.
In the first five years of a child's life, there is a constant accumulation of behavioral skills in various situations, and most of these skills are formed through observation of the behavior of adults, and in particular parents. That is why it is important, first of all, to pay attention to your habits, actions, conversations, and then to reason why the child acts this way and not otherwise.
The great teacher A.S. Makarenko said: “If at home you are rude, or boastful, or drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you no longer need to think about education: you are already raising your children, and raising them poorly, and no best advice and methods will help you” . (slide 3)
discussion part
Moderator: When do habits begin to form? (slide 4)
Habits are formed when for the first time a new type of activity of the child appears, when for the first time he has new things, new responsibilities, etc. Adults should be very attentive to all those actions and circumstances that arise in the life of a child for the first time. Parents do not take care to establish a good habit in time - and instead of it, another, often bad habit, spontaneously arises.
discussion part
Moderator: How are habits formed? (slide 5)
Habits are developed by deeds. An action becomes a habit if the result leads to pleasure. (approval, praise, help, support). Failures, troubles interfere with the formation of a habit.
Most of the activities are of a domestic nature (for example, caring for animals or plants in the family brings great satisfaction to children, and due to the visual positive result, these activities quickly become habitual.
Parents should only make sure that the result is clearly visible to the children themselves. First impressions associated with doing or not doing an action are especially important for developing a habit.
Most often, parents complain about such a shortcoming in the child's behavior as an unfinished action, for example, the child took a toy, played, but forgot to put it away, left it where he played, that is, he did not complete the action started with the toy. The same picture can be observed with books, clothes, pencils and any other items with which the child often interacts. The ability to clean up after yourself is an elementary motor act, it is quite easy to develop it if you teach your baby to always and strictly perform this manipulation. But if you systematically forget about this, then in the future it will be difficult for the child to bring any started business to its logical conclusion, thus, such qualities as irresponsibility, lack of initiative will be formed, and in the future these characteristics can become dominant personality traits.
In order to form a habit in a child to complete the work begun, it is enough to follow the following recommendations:
Each thing in the house should have a strictly defined place, its own house for typewriters, pencils, books, etc.
Your personal example, if a child sees how you come home from work and, out of fatigue, throw shoes in the corridor, clothes on a chair, while telling the baby that this is very bad and should not be done this way, then in this case the preschooler has nothing left to do but remember this behavior. And then you should not be surprised if the child resorts to the same excuses. At this age, reality affects the child much more than words.
Remember that your child's behavior is primarily a reflection of your behavior.
The same goes for teaching a child other skills, such as speaking. polite words The ability to speak softly rather than shout. The child at this stage of development works as your mirror. If a child in the kindergarten demonstrates undesirable behavior, you should not immediately blame the educators, but you should think about when and how the preschooler could notice this in the first place behind me, because for the baby it is you who are the model and ideal of behavior. Instill in your child from early childhood the qualities that you would like to see in him, and then in the future you are less likely to have behavioral problems.
AT preschool age correction of undesirable behavior is impossible without an effective example of an adult significant for him. It is important that in your family, not only mom and dad, but also grandparents and other relatives give the child the same type of behavior, otherwise the child will choose the easiest and most convenient style for himself. An example in behavior, deed, conversation always remains in the subconscious of the child, and it is on the basis of this knowledge that the future life of your baby is built, his ways of interacting with other people, in such a situation, the child is more likely to act exactly as you appear now.
discussion part
Host: What are bad habits? (slide 6)
"Bad habits are obsessive actions that adversely affect the child's behavior, his physical and mental development" - such an interpretation can be found by parents in the encyclopedia. Frightening, because bad habits, it turns out, are far from being so harmless and a finger in the mouth should be an alarm: the baby is feeling bad!
Everything in a child's behavior has its meaning, its meaning. He may unconsciously be angry at his parents for leaving him alone, may experience strong negative feelings to the grandmother, who suddenly took the place of her beloved mother. Next comes a wave of shame for such thoughts, and the kid rips off feelings on his own body: he bites his nails, twists his hair around his finger, that is, on a subconscious level, he tries to hurt himself. All the destructive power of these difficult experiences turns on him.
Thus, bad habits are a sign of severe anxiety. It is important to understand that the reasons provoking such behavior have real grounds. Often these are communication problems between children and parents. (slide 7.8)
Here are some options for possible alarm situations.
- It is very difficult for children whose parents are indifferent to them. Even without words, by facial expressions and gestures, the child receives signals that the world hostile. And then someone else can take the place of parents in his soul, for example, an ordinary beetle in a matchbox, with whom you can chat, share your sorrows, who understands you.
- Parents are too busy with themselves, clarifying their relationship, and the child, at best, is left to himself, and more often - becomes a weapon of mother or father in the struggle between themselves. Such a child suffers immensely from the conflict between the closest people or grows up to be an excellent manipulator.
- Powerful moms and dads tend to control their child, suppressing his will and not giving him the opportunity to be himself. They cause the child not so much love as fear. The child looks at the world warily, does not trust him and defends himself even when no one thinks to attack him.
- The mother hen takes care of the little chicken in everything, comes running at the first call, does any little thing for him. The child has grown up, but does not want to hit a finger on a finger and does not know how. Here are other activities for him. Especially when the child in the family "king and god" , he becomes spoiled and gets used to the fact that all his whims are indulged.
- The kids of busy parents try to get the attention they need, even in a negative way. They operate according to the principle: “Better to be scolded than not noticed” . Then the child will unconsciously become addicted to any bad habit, just to get into your field of vision.
discussion part
Presenter How to help a child get rid of bad habits, what tricks can adults use for this? (slide 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
The habit of holding a finger in the mouth
If a child holds a finger in his mouth, then he feels internal discomfort. Often this habit is acquired by children who receive little attention. It is possible that in this way they protest that they are left alone for a long time.
Experts advise taking the following steps:
- Talking to the child before going to bed, holding his hand, because this is exactly the time when the greatest intimacy arises between parents and children. Calm and gentle communication from day to day will make the child less excitable.
- If you have to part for a while, kiss all of his fingers in turn and ask him to keep the kiss until the meeting.
- It happens that the first-born is jealous of his mother for a little brother or sister and different ways trying to express his dissatisfaction. Treat him with understanding, use different tricks to prove that love for him has not weakened.
- Having laid the child in the crib, you can tell some kind of fairy tale, but always with a good ending. And then remind him of all his good deeds
The habit of crying, whining and whimpering
The reasons for whimpering can be different: the baby is sensitive and tearful by nature; he is unwell or tired by the end of the day; it is difficult for him to concentrate on one thing. But it is possible that the child is a young soloist-manipulator.
- Since the whining child is not speaking clearly, you can say to him: "What are you saying? I don't understand anything! Can you say okay? I'm sorry, I don't understand anything when you whine. Please calm down. Until you calm down and can speak normally, I won't be able to understand what you want. Calm down and we'll talk" .
- It is necessary to switch the child's attention to another object or activity that can arouse his interest. For example, help prepare dinner for dad. But potatoes and carrots must first be washed well - children rarely refuse such a pleasure.
biting habit
Possible reasons for this behavior? Most often it is aggression directed at parents. Such is the subconscious reaction to the demands of adults, the unwillingness to fulfill them. But perhaps this is an attempt to attract attention. It may also be that the child is hostile and wants to hurt everyone around.
Experts offer the following eradication instructions:
- Teach a fighter to negotiate, defend his opinion, confirm his innocence with words. If a child bites, it is obvious that such behavior in the family is not punishable or, despite condemnation, brings him the desired result.
- The aggressor must be taught to control himself from early childhood. Those children who succeed are more likely to succeed in adult life and continue to respect and love their parents.
- The kid beats his hands in the face of his mother, who sits on her lap. He was already told that it was impossible to beat, but the result was zero. He continues to hit and laugh happily after each hit. The mother tries to explain that she is in pain. But how does a child know what pain is if he has not experienced it? Then mother, in response to another blow, asks: "Which hand struck? This?" - and strikes her fingers on the hand that hit her, trying at the same time not to hurt, and to make the blow palpable. The child naturally cries. Mom, continuing to gently hug him and keep him on her knees, firmly and calmly says: “You can’t beat mom!” If the child hits again, then the mother will repeat the technique. At the same time, she calmly says: “You can't hit people. The one who hits always gets back" . This may need to be repeated several times.
- A similar tactic can be applied to a biting child. Are you able to help "nibbler" , and first of all by the fact that you will show an example of control over your own emotions, which are far from always joyful
The habit of swearing
You are shocked! You are speechless. Your child says very unchildish expressions. Sooner or later, all parents face this problem.
This phenomenon can be explained by the following reasons. With early age Children are exposed to a huge amount of information. Listening to the speech of others, the baby reproduces new words and expressions, imitating adults. Some people like to pronounce words the way a parrot does, but their meaning is not associated with anything bad. If for a child "bad" words have no meaning "fillings" , so parents are fighting windmills.
What can be advised to adults in such cases?
- The talker is overwhelmed with a variety of feelings, but he is sorely lacking words to express them. Looking for expressions, he suddenly begins to add strong words. And if you do not focus on this the attention of the child, as a rule, "enthusiasm" swearing goes away by itself as his vocabulary is enriched.
- If you react violently to swearing, the child will gladly repeat them over and over again just to enjoy your indignation or the indignation of the people around you.
- When your child is older, have a heart to heart talk with him and convince him that it is not very nice to flaunt profanity. At five or six years old, the child is already big enough to understand that there is vocabulary that is completely unacceptable in a decent society. So tell him: “My dad and I also know these expressions, but we never say it out loud” .
- A game "Swearing vegetables" suitable for children of any age - an unprecedented scope for verbal expressions opens up, and this does not jar anyone's hearing. In the role of swear words, you can use not only vegetables, but also many other things - furniture, plants, days of the week.
Leading from habit with one promise "don't do that again" - do not get rid of. First, one should determine the cause of the habit and stubbornly eliminate it; secondly, the point is often not in lack of will, but in the inability to find a means of counteracting a bad habit.
There is a common misconception: the habit must be destroyed, eradicated. Every habit responds to a need. With the course of life, needs change, and life experience suggests that some habits disappear over the years, habits are not eternal. Because when the need underlying the habit disappears (either it is satisfied, or it ceases to be relevant, the habit disappears without a trace. Punishment very rarely leads to the disappearance of the habit. (slide 15)
The education of habits should not take place in isolation from the education of moral qualities. Good habits are only then the basis strong character when they are brought up in unity with moral convictions and spiritual interests. Habits should be considered as a means to achieve some goal of education, but not as an end in itself. (for example, the education of politeness is not necessary for the child to "made an impression" but because it makes life together comfortable and enjoyable). (slide 16)
Heredity determines only temperament, the type of higher nervous activity, and skills, habits, character forms Environment. Therefore, the main creators of the child's personality are, first of all, his relatives - fathers, mothers, grandparents. Their habits are the habits of their children. (slide 17)
Reminder for parents "How to Raise Children"
Here are some general elementary rules that adults should follow when raising a child.
1. You can not humiliate a child.
We sometimes say to a child in our hearts: "Do you even have a head on your shoulders?" or “Why did God punish me with such a child!” Whenever we say something like this, we destroy the son's or daughter's positive self-esteem. Our children are starting to feel guilty about being alive at all. You can't go far with this feeling of guilt; you can grow up to be a deeply unhappy person.
2. Never threaten.
“Just try to do it like ladies!” Every time we say this, we are teaching the child to fear and hate us. From threats, the child will not stop behaving somehow, or will stop behaving here and now, and then win back - you can call it "law of conservation of pranks" . In addition, the baby will no longer respect you as a leader. Remember: the weak threaten with a fist, the strong with a finger.
3. Promises should not be extorted.
“Promise,” the mother says to the guilty child, “that you will never, never do this again.” . And the child willingly promises. And soon he repeats his prank again. Mom is confused "How! You gave your word! She just doesn't know that a promise means nothing to a small child. The promise, like the threat, refers to the future - when else will it come? And the child lives in the present. The extortion of promises will either develop in him a sense of guilt, or teach him cynical inconsistency in words and deeds.
4. You do not need to bake, patronizing.
Otherwise, the child will not feel that he can do something himself. And this again reduces self-esteem, leads to complexes. In addition, excessive guardianship accustoms him to the idea that you can not strain - and so everything will be done to you. Many parents underestimate the capabilities of their children and do for them what they themselves can do.
5. It is unreasonable to demand immediate obedience.
The child is not a robot or a zombie. He needs time to understand and accept or not accept your instruction. Start from afar: "We'll have dinner soon" , "Ice cream for dessert can melt" etc. Then he, at least, will not say that he was not warned.
6. You can not indulge the child and blindly follow his lead.
Permissiveness can arise when children feel that parents are unable to insist on their own. This means, children think, that the rules have no clear boundaries. The more specific your "Yes" and "No" , "white" and "black" , topics easier for a child (especially small ones) understand what you actually want from him.
7. To achieve understanding, you need to be consistent.
Alone with her son, during dinner, mom allows him to climb into his plate and giggles tenderly. When a friend comes and everyone sits down at the table together, the mother is horrified that the baby impudently climbs into all the plates and scolds him.
There is a magic word that contains one of the main secrets of education - this is consistency. Be consistent. The child is unable to understand all your "sometimes" , "may be" , "only on holidays" . You can raise a neurasthenic if, after putting on old clothes, you mess around with a child in the mud, and then get angry when another time, while playing, he soils his or your suit. You need to let him know that there are things that he can only do with your permission.
Undoubtedly, each of you can continue this list with your own commandments, referring to your experience of parental love and care.
The speaker's speech can be completed by answering questions from parents on topics of interest to them.
06.04.2016 06:01:23
"... I started keeping a diary of gratitude - I quit. I started to outline the task of the first month according to my image - I quit. I took up wardrobe, style, makeup - I quit. I started healthy eating- threw. And so on: I begin to develop the necessary habit, behavior in order to become a woman corresponding to my oligarch husband - and after a few days I quit.
I sit and cry into a rag. In 2007, I did not correspond to my oligarch husband ... And over the past five years, I have not changed anything in myself in order to correspond to him. Therefore, I understand that I will not become the wife of an oligarch, neither now at 27 years old, nor at 40 years old.
Irina.
Irina, in your letter there are reproaches addressed to you - and this is wrong. The first thing to do is to forbid yourself once and for all to be angry with yourself and upset. You are an amazing person, you constantly strive to achieve more, you try - and this is already worthy of treating yourself with respect and love.
You want to become better, strive to find the key to the cherished spring of your soul, which can be wound up to failure - and act, act, act... pleasing yourself and those around you with wonderful changes in life. You are looking for a key that opens the warehouse of your strong-willed qualities, but so far you simply could not find it. But if you keep searching, you will definitely find this magic key. Most importantly, don't stop!
I am also looking for treasured keys. I know from experience that each person needs their own golden key, and I collect them all on my mailing list pages. Today I will offer you another one, and I will tell you a secret - it is the best!
After all, this is not just effective advice - it is a scientific approach, tested by hundreds of scientists and proven to be effective. Well, I won’t intrigue you anymore :), I’ll only advise you to read carefully, outline what is important for yourself, and get all the possible benefits in life from this. And they may open for you very soon ...
Why do we often act unreasonably? Why can't we do as we see fit?
Because human thinking has not gone so far from the animal world. Most people do not live by logic and common sense, not by conscious attitudes, but by ordinary animal needs.
Animals are not able to think, they live by reflexes: a sparrow sat on the ground near densely overgrown bushes, and a cat jumped out and bit him with its paw, tearing off its tail and half a wing. In the memory (subconscious) of a sparrow, it was deposited: where bushes grow densely - it is dangerous, no way there! After checking thirty more times, the sparrow will be convinced: where bushes grow densely - it is really dangerous (cats jump out and scare, and even eat someone). He will develop a "conditioned reflex", and he will never again sit next to a densely overgrown bush.
But having flown into the square, where people crumble crumbs on the pavement, the sparrow will develop a persistent reflex (habit) - fly there, there is a lot of food and is relatively safe.
The conditioned reflex was discovered by the great scientist, Nobel Prize winner Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, who conducted experiments on dogs. Remember from the school curriculum? The bell rings, the dog is given food, saliva is produced in it. A few such reinforcements - and the dog already begins to produce saliva only at the ringing of a bell. By the way, Pavlov also worked very well with people and proved that we are not so far removed from animals.
Scientific experiments prove that we are only outwardly reasonable, but in fact... Human thinking can be compared with the work of a factory, where the role of the owner of the factory is played by the Subconscious, giving instructions: "I like it - I do it, I don't like it - I don't do it; I want this - I go to the left, I want this - I go to the right". The managers of this plant (our Consciousness) take note of these instructions, find logic in them and justify them, and then stimulate the workers (the person himself) to follow these instructions.
But why does the primitive subconscious play the leading role in our thinking?
Because we have been animals for millions of years. All this time, our thinking was controlled by the subconscious, and only 50 or 70 thousand years ago, the beginnings of consciousness appeared in us.
The subconscious was the first, it is older, sits more firmly in us, and the degree of its influence on our behavior is enormous! Although we do not attach much importance to this.
The subconscious mind is primitive to the point of insanity. When he is full, warm and good, he will sit still TILL THE LAST, if only this "GOOD" continues. And only SERIOUS incentives can budge him.
When you are eating cookies in the evening, sitting at the TV or reading a detective story, you will never raise your ass to do some physical exercise to maintain health. The subconscious mind is good - and this is the main thing. It instructs this "good" to continue, and your Consciousness, as a helpful manager, will find thousands of excuses to do nothing.
In the morning you get out of bed and go to work, although you don’t feel like doing it at all - only because it is VITAL. If you don’t go to work, there will be nothing to eat, it is life-threatening, so you go to work.
If you are sitting at the TV, gobbling up your favorite cookies, and a fire starts in your apartment, you will definitely jump out into the street - as this is a vital necessity.
But if there is no fire, and nothing threatens your life now, you will sit and eat cookies, even if you are obese. Why? Because now there is NO SERIOUS PROBLEM, but the Subconscious mind is WELL. As a sparrow flies to the square to eat crumbs, because it follows a conditioned reflex, so your Consciousness will always find smart and correct justifications for any of your behavior. Consciousness is a manager, its job is to serve the Subconscious and make you do or not do something.
This is how our mind works.
Man is primitive and conservative like a sparrow. The sparrow does not sit near the bushes - because it is dangerous, and we do not lie in bed in the morning and go to work - also only because it is dangerous.
A "conditioned reflex" has been developed in us: in the morning, without even thinking, we get out of bed, brush our teeth, get dressed and go to work. And in the evening we can’t be torn off by a crane from the TV and our favorite cookies - such a habit.
To control your thinking, you need to understand that it is impossible to influence it with ordinary arguments. A scientific approach is needed here:
To accustom myself to walk, I did not engage in persuasion, did not convince myself that physical activity is good for my health. I acted simply - removed everything sweet from the house. In the evening, I will definitely want sweets - but there are none. What to do? Suffer from grief, or go to the store. And so I go outside (to the farthest store) and buy some sweets. It has been proven that to develop a stable habit in an animal, from 20 to 200 reinforcements are required, in humans - from 2 to 20.
I did my best. For two months I didn’t have a piece of sweet at home (who doesn’t like sweets, you can replace it with coffee, sausage, tangerines, watching your favorite movies, etc.). After such a serious period of time, I formed a stable conditioned reflex: if you go for a walk, you will be fine. My subconscious has developed a habit that I need.
Two months later, if I did not go for a walk, I felt bad.
And now attention, now I will give you not just a golden key, but a key studded with large diamonds and insanely expensive black pearls! If this knowledge penetrates you, and sits very deep, you will be able to manage your life, do great things in it and reach extraordinary heights! Yes, this knowledge is so expensive, because it can change the personality and fate of a person beyond recognition. So, read carefully and understand.
I said that if after 2 months I didn’t go for a walk, I felt bad. Why?
Because the Subconscious Mind is conservative, and if something in a person's life changes, no matter for good or bad, it starts to seriously panic. If everything goes the old way - a person experiences pleasure.
Therefore, if a person has a habit of walking, reading, working in the evenings, this brings him the same pleasure as watching his favorite TV series or having a hearty dinner at night. It's all about habits.
"And a small victory over oneself makes a person much stronger."
M. Gorky
Do you understand?! It is enough to go for sweets for a couple of months (at a distance of 3 km) - and you will instill in yourself the habit of walking in the evenings. This means you will be leaner and healthier for the rest of your life. But that is not all!
If you stop walking, you will experience anxiety and anxiety, as your Subconscious will require a walk (you will develop a stable reflex in yourself).
That is, you will change your personality beyond recognition. Imagine, 2 months ago, walking long distances was an unpleasant pastime for you, and now they give you real pleasure. Cool, yeah!
You have become a different person, now taking care of your health gives you pleasure. And for all this you had to pay only sweets.
You can change your habits, and with them your destiny. After all, in this way you can accustom yourself to read a lot, work in the evenings, get regular manicures or praise your beautiful personality while looking in the mirror.
Our life consists of habits, and now using this method, you can create anything you want out of it!
You can reinforce the habits you need with anything.
If you are a mother of a six-month-old baby, then you can force yourself to walk very easily. It is enough to go for a walk somewhere to visit. As we know, young mothers, sitting at home with a baby, suffer from a lack of communication. A change of scenery and pleasant communication is a great incentive to form the habit you need. Today you go to visit your grandmother, tomorrow to your girlfriend, the day after tomorrow somewhere else. And in a month or two you will accustom yourself to walk just like that.
I did not have a stable habit of reading, and even more so of working in the evenings. In my mind, I understood that this habit could make me more successful professionally, and therefore richer and happier. But sitting at the TV, my Subconscious categorically opposed the arguments of the Consciousness.
I did it simply - removed the TV from the house. The next evening she was already howling with longing. After a couple of days, I started reading out of boredom.
Here is the most important thing! Let yourself be entertained only by reading non-fiction literature. No detective stories and love stories! All of them in the trash (or take your mom away for a while)!
"I'm bored-u-u-u-uchno! Hwa-a-a-a-atit!"- and Consciousness, as a helpful manager, immediately gives you logical arguments that it really doesn’t climb into any gates - so mock your body! That it is high time to drink tea, chat on the phone, look through your favorite magazine, go to Odnoklassniki, etc.
Above the Subconsciousness and Consciousness of a person there is also the Superconsciousness, which is able not to be led by the chatter of these talkers. It simply says: "Like it, don't like it - be patient, my beauty."
Turning on the Superconsciousness in time, clearly and stubbornly moving towards the highest goals in life - this is also a "conditioned reflex", a formed habit. I still continue to develop it in myself.
To accustom yourself to introduce something new into your life, and useful habits into your character, you need to act in the same way.
You want to accustom yourself to work in the evenings. Perfectly! To do this, you need to forbid yourself to have fun reading (as we remember, the TV has already been thrown away). In the evening, any person appears free time, and he can spend it on entertainment and pleasure. But if you don’t allow yourself to have fun, then there will be nothing to do, and then you will start working according to the plan.
Any work should be rewarded.
That is, you have completed the intended work - rewarded yourself with a cup of coffee (chocolate, sex or cartoons). Ivan Pavlov developed conditioned reflexes in dogs with pieces of meat, and you can develop healthy habits in yourself with small, but ALWAYS PLEASANT rewards.
If you have done serious work, you can reward yourself with a whole day of doing nothing, some thing, a vacation, and other pleasures.
It goes without saying that before all this organizational work, one must give up pleasure. "Abstaining from pleasure is the greatest virtue in the world." Many of the greatest minds spoke about this, starting with Buddha and Diogenes, and ending with the instructions of our great-grandmothers.
And it's really smart. After all, a person will always strive for pleasure, this is the meaning of his life. And to educate a person, instilling in him useful habits, is possible only when these pleasures are given out with meaning.
Irina, you just need to understand that the habit of quitting what you started is just a conditioned reflex that you have formed. To instill the habit of finishing what you started to the end, you need to develop the Superconsciousness in yourself.
To do this, remember that in addition to the Subconscious and Consciousness, you also have a Superconsciousness. When your Subconscious mind demands "I want it - I don't want it!", and the Consciousness finds thousands of justified beliefs that you need to quit what you started - tell it: "Like it, don't like it - be patient, my beauty, I'm not an animal - I'm a man!"
Remember, we are not far from animals, and still live with our reflexes. But we always have the opportunity to refuse them, and instill good habits.
"The essence of man comprehends the one
who first kills the essence of the dog in himself.
Saadi Muslihaddin Abu Mohammed
To instill a useful habit, you need to consciously deprive yourself of pleasures, and give them out in doses, only as a REWARD for the work you have done.
Only in this case, a person has the opportunity to break out of the vicious circle of bad habits, rise above himself and make his life better!
"Who you see yourself as will be who you become" Jim Cathcart.
We often put things off until later. As a rule, this “later” does not come soon, or does not come at all. So we ourselves deprive ourselves of the best that each of us deserves.
Success loves those who know exactly what they want from this life and purposefully follow the path of achievement. It accompanies those who do not put off solving problems for later, but immediately begin to implement their plans. Only by cultivating in oneself such qualities as perseverance and purposefulness in working on important things, and going to the bitter end, you will make your dreams come true, and things will get off the ground.
To achieve a high level of professionalism and labor productivity, it is necessary to develop a stable habit of solving the most important tasks in the morning, without being distracted by other problems.
Usually, a person has many tasks that need to be completed at once. But only the ability to assign a category to them will help you understand what priority, what you need to take on in the first place. You need to start with the most difficult and important. It is necessary to learn to start solving such problems immediately and to persevere until the task is completed to the end. Only then should you move on to other tasks. That is, it is necessary to understand what should be done immediately, and what can be done later, if at all.
Fearing the impending difficulties in completing more complex tasks, we often put them off, tempted to tackle easier ones. But it's not right. "Do the job - walk boldly!" is the right approach. After all, while we are afraid to start a difficult task, we do not stop thinking about it, and this burden is pressing on us, preventing us from breathing deeply and enjoying life.
After you determine the priority in the implementation of the tasks assigned to you, you need to understand that without developing a habit, things will not move forward. Set clear goals for yourself: indecision and slowness in this case are not your forte. Only hard work on the fulfillment of the tasks set will help to develop the necessary skills and abilities (both mental and physical). “Patience and work will grind everything” - yes, yes, it is persistence and repeated repetition until the habit is fixed on your subconscious level and becomes an integral part of your behavior.
Now, every time you complete your task, you will feel a surge of energy, enthusiasm and exalt in your own eyes. The more difficult the task you completed, the more satisfaction you will receive from what you have achieved. The newfound self-confidence will help you look more optimistically at the world around you and not be afraid and not put off until later the tasks that await you in the future.
After accomplishing the desired or due, you experience a sense of satisfaction from what has been accomplished. Your brain releases endorphins, which give you a natural “high” that fills you with pride in your own creative powers and gives you self-confidence.
Thus, once you get into the habit of jumping right into your first tasks and seeing them through, once it becomes second nature to you, it will gradually guide you and you will find it easier to complete important tasks. rather than throw them halfway.
It is necessary to remember the advantages and benefits that you can get by learning to always be an active, fast-achieving and purposeful person.
So, with the help of repeated and hard training, you will be able to overcome the tendency to put everything off until later, “on the back burner”, and acquire the habit of solving the tasks quickly and efficiently. Once you learn how to achieve your goals, your life will sparkle with completely different colors.
Source: http://shkolazhizni.ru/
